


A Fusion Misunderstood

by Maiden22



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: And James always gets caught cheating, And pick on him of course, And theyll fight tooth and nail for him, Ash doesn't believe his trust has been betrayed, Ash doesn;t like legendaries, Ash has a ot of Aura, Ash is Tiny Twerp, Ash is a Nihilego Fusion, Ash is a scary Fusion, Aura - Freeform, Aura freeform, Brock is mentioned, Delia is Mama Twerp, Ending is slightly Ambiguos, Gladion Yells, In a twerpy kinda way, Interpretation of Aura, It happens, James sucks at Blackjack, Kukui is an in denial papa, Lana is Lost, Lillie Yells, Lillie definitely thinks she betrayed him, Lillie tries, Mallow is numb, Nihilego!Ash, Only cause they all cheat, Pikachu adores his human, Pikachu doesn't like Legendaries, Pikachu doesn't take shit from anyone, Pikachu knows something everyone doesnt, Pikachu really loves his best friend, So what, Sophocles is in Denial, The rockets adore Ash, They really do adore him, and Kiawe doesn't know what to do, burnet is mom, he just wants Ash to be safe, kahuna Hala is mentioned, kukui is dad, riolu too, she does, the kiddos are scared, they worried for their son, you want Ash to forgive them? okay but he's slightly bitter about it, you want Ash to not forgive them? okay but that doesn't mean he believes its his fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiden22/pseuds/Maiden22
Summary: This world was lovely, and he couldn't bear to think about the things that could ruin it.
Relationships: Kukui-hakase | Professor Kukui & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Satoshi no Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu
Comments: 64
Kudos: 295
Collections: Ash Ketchem Best Works





	1. Fusion

**Author's Note:**

> A Nihilego!Ash fusion, be warned that it can get dark at times!

It was a quiet night on Melemele, lights turning off, as all diurnal pokemon began to quietly turn in.

The Pokemon of the night gave the sky a mistrusting look, some dashing away with little hesitation.

A small spark of white appeared for a fraction of a second in the sky, startling other Pokemon to turn tail and run. Another spark, before a tear was ripped open in the sky.

Odd jellyfish creatures floated out with vigor, a herd of about 10 of them stood in a circle. Their tentacle-like feelers raised into the air. The Alolan moon glowing for a fraction of a second before their bodies began to glow as well. Sparks of white entering their body.

All save for one.

The slightly smaller jellyfish waved its feelers desperately, small sparks surrounding their body but not being absorbed like the others.

Not long after, the other 9 dropped their feelers and floated back into the still open rift.

The smaller of the group hastily tried to follow, shrieking in distress as they dropped a few inches before picking up their pace.

The wormhole wavered as they neared, urging them to move faster. But as soon as they tried to pass, they felt the energy from the wormhole try to sap at their strength, forcing them to snap back with a shriek.

The wormhole shuddered, expanding and shrinking before closing abruptly, leaving the Jellyfish-like creature floating there.

With an angered cry, the creature began to fly around glancing at Pokemon that it could see.

One particular pokemon caught its eye, a small blue Pokemon that screamed energy. It seemed to have a fair bit contained in it's small body.

Without hesitation, the creature swooped down and grasped the smaller figure in its grasp, uncaring of its screams as they consumed the energy it had in its body.

The fighting creature went limp, breathing heavily and letting out small cries of pain.

The jellyfish found themselves incredibly dissatisfied.

They let the small creature down on a strange wood like floor, floating back and trying to find more.

Instead, they began to grow weary, feeling their limbs turn to lead. They looked around, finding a strange tall tree resting above an odd structure.

With a heavy body, they wrapped their feelers around the trunk and dozed.

Hopefully, morning come, they would find enough energy to go back home.

\----

Ash awoke with a start, shooting up and glancing about wildly.

Rotom was buzzing softly in their charger station, and nearly all his Pokemon were sleeping easily.

Nearly…

Pikachu was far from their bed, resting on the banister near the ladders but hiding as best he could behind a pillar. He glanced at Ash, waving him over with a quick swipe of his paw before looking back down.

Ash wearily crawled forward, glancing around the floor as quietly as possible.

Instead, he found the professors and Kahuna Hala. All of them looked fairly concerned, speaking in quiet, hushed tones. With his stomach still doing knots, he continued to look around the house, just knowing that something was wrong. Everything still looked fairly normal, from the kitchen to the front door.

And then he found it.

A little Riolu was laying there, looking heavily withdrawn and whimpering in pain as it swiped at something that wasn't there.

He could see matted parts of its fur, almost as if a grass type's vine whip constricted them in place. But underneath he could see dark bruises forming.

Bruises that its aura should have healed.

Finally, unable to stay quiet any longer, he popped up quickly.

"Good Morning," Ash waved at the trio who all started at his abrupt greeting. "What's going on?"

"Ah young Ash." The Kahuna gave a glance at the two professors, both whom quickly looked the other way. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to wake you."

Ash waved away the apology, sliding down the ladder with ease.

"I didn't wake up from the noise, I woke up because of her." He motioned towards the Riolu on the bed, unable to tear his eyes away. "What happened?"

Another sideways glance from the Kahuna, before he huffed uneasily, placing a hand against his chin.

"That, I'm afraid is something I don't know about." He walked over and placed a hand on his pokemon, who mewled and pawed at the hand on her forehead. "I found her this way this morning and rushed over to Nurse Joy. However she could only do so much. I was hoping the professors knew what might have happened, but so far we're pretty helpless at the moment."

By then, Ash looked around uneasily. Rubbing His neck as Pikachu looked at him with a blank stare.

"It's...It's her aura." Ash supplied, squirming at the looks. "She's nearly drained of it and it's affecting her ability to replenish properly."

Burnet blinked, a hand hovering over her mouth as her brows furrowed in concentration. Kukui opened and closed his mouth, looking at the ceiling as he tried to rationalize what Ash had said.

"Aura?" Hala hummed.

Ash nodded and raised a hand, a spark of blue beginning to appear before it was formed into a small condensed sphere, about the size of a golf ball. He strained to keep the ball consistent, even as the three adults jumped back in shock.

"Aura." Ash confirmed, before the ball dispelled in his hand, he huffed quietly blinking away the stress and dizziness it brought. "Here."

He hovered a hand over Riolu, a light blue glow being forced to the center of his hand. Instead of pushing it out into a sphere, he let it sit at the palm of his hand, nearly shooting back when Riolu latched on almost too quickly.

Instead the small blue pokemon purred, rubbing her cheek against the blue source Ash was outputting.

He began to feel the strain, panting slightly as he felt the baby type absorb as much as she could.

She pushed away, looking exhausted, but much more lucid as she let out a happy bark. Her tail wagged as Ash leaned over exhausted.

He smiled at her, rubbing her head affectionately.

"Yeah, I'm glad you're feeling better too."

He glanced up very slightly to see Hala look at him with an odd look.

One he grew to recognize as a mix of fear and awe.

"She can replenish her own now." Ash started to babble, looking away. "She just needed a bit of added aura. Honestly, that could have taken her weeks to replenish alone, I just gave her a little boost is all."

With a quick glance outside, seeing the morning sun start to peak over the horizon, he stepped back quickly. Feeling his own aura start to rapidly fill the empty gaps in his arms.

"I should start getting ready for school." He moved back, climbing up the ladder and facing Pikachu. "I'll take a quick shower, I should have enough time."

His first Pokemon gave a nod, scrambling over and grabbing his essentials and pushing them forward. With a quick swipe of his arm, he grabbed a towel and his clothes that the mouse had laid out before him, before rushing off towards the bathroom.

Today was gonna be a long day…

\----

He rushed out of the house without glancing at the professors, even as they called his name begging him to come back.

"I'LL SEE YOU AT SCHOOL!" Ash pounded out the door of the shack, stumbling in the sand before breaking into a dead sprint.

Halfway up the cliff towards the school, he broke his sprint, panting slightly as the aura pushed to his aching legs. Rotom buzzed beside him, angrily flitting about as it complained about the sudden drop of battery.

Pikachu cooed, rubbing his cheek against Ash's face as both Lycanroc and Torracat grunted beside him, stretching out aching limbs.

Poipole and Rowlet might have been the only ones who weren't aware of much as Poipole danced around freely, laughing at Rotom, and Rowlet laid asleep in his bag.

Again, he cursed the feeling of Aura running through his body, feeling more alienated than he ever had in Alola. Regardless of his inner turmoil, he shouldered his bag and continued forward towards the Pokemon school, where he would have to face Professor Kukui.

Well... to the day ahead of him.

When he arrived in class, a shiver ran through his body. Wide eyed, Ash glanced around the room edging towards his seat with a soft 'Alola' to everyone who was there.

"Pikapi." Great. He wasn't the only one who felt it.

All the Pokemon in the room were rushing around happily, hardly registering the strange feeling in the air.

The other students look concerned, maybe they could feel it?

"Ash is everything alright?" Lillie asked, glancing around the room like he had before.

"Yeah, you look really tense." Sophocles added in, poking at his side.

Ash forced himself to relax, blinking and giving a sheepish smile.

"Yeah I'm fine, it just feels...I dunno kinda weird today." He shrugged, raising his arms up for emphasis.

The others visibly relaxed.

"Maybe it's just you," Kiawe grinned, patting him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, Maybe." Ash grinned, closing his eyes to stop suspicion from showing.

It took another ten minutes before the professor arrived, in which all of them were easily talking as Ash tried to ignore the warnings his Aura was giving him.

"Alola Class." Kukui smiled at them, placing his hands on his desk. "I want you all to start thinking about a project with your Pokemon, we're going to be studying a contest this week. We are going to watch a few entrance contest runs and I expect you all to have an idea for what you want to do, and execute it by this Friday. Alright?"

A small chorus of agreements rung out, all of the students piling together to think of ideas. Ash quietly sunk into his chair at the raised eyebrow Kukui gave him.

"Ash," He felt the guilt and shame wash his face and neck. "Can you come here for a second?"

There was a small ooh from Sophocles as Ash walked towards the professor with his head hung low.

"Ash.." Oh and now that awkward pause, what a wonderful morning. "About earlier today...What you did-"

"I know it was weird." Ash cut him off sharply, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. "I know, okay? I won't do it again."

Kukui took a step back in shock, blinking at the abruptness. Another hot flash of guilt rushed through his body.

"Ash, that's not what I wanted to say…" the Professor awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, a sigh escaping his lips. "What happened this morning..Wasn't that dangerous? I've learned very little about aura when studying Lucario's move set. And I know all living things possess it, no matter how much I disregarded humans actually using it. But from what I was made aware, aura is supposed to stay inside humans, it's not supposed to come out…"

Ash blinked, unable to process what Kukui said.

He knew aura existed...And he wasn't freaked out by it? But… Kahuna Hala hadn't and he looked so afraid…

"I may not know much, but I would like to know more if you're willing to tell me what you know." Kukui grinned, still looking a touch nervous.

With a smile gracing his face, Ash nodded enthusiastically, forming fists with his hands and vibrating in enthusiasm.

"Of course Profess-" His enthusiasm dropped, a clump of fear and horror churning his gut as his Aura snapped forward into attention.

Kukui's own grin fell, glancing back.

Everything slowed down quickly, his aura clawing at his chest and starting to glow into his hands.

He could faintly see a tentacle peak out, looking scarily familiar. A thin streak of black crawling up its appendage as the very tip glowed an ominous white.

His aura struck forward again, centering just a bit above his shoulder, as if struggling to get out and towards the blinding white light.

But the tentacle was heading towards the professor, intent on gripping his arm and dragging him forward.

In an instant, Ash knew what to do.

Ash moved quickly, jumping out in front of the professor with a nimble twist of his body.

Screams echoed the classroom as the entire building blared for the Ultra Guardians.

He had no time to think as Tentacles wrapped around his frame, dragging him over the edge of the classroom and dipping towards the floor before it struggled to pull him up.

He could faintly hear someone screaming as he thrashed around. The tentacles wrapped firmly around his arms and legs, pulling at his aura that both flowed away and tried to stay put at the center of his chest.

Suddenly something sticky and wet draped his back, he glanced up and saw the jelly like portion of the monster was absorbing his body.

It was a Nihilego…

The sudden weight on his back began to burn at his exposed skin, sucking and greedily drinking away his aura.

There was another shrill scream.

Distantly, he realized it was him who was yelling.

It was a sudden jolt to feel a comforting warmth surround his body, his flailing and writhing falling to a stop. He let his body dangle mid air, his legs and arms falling limp as he stared at the open blue sky, all the noises falling mute and a short ringing entered his head.

He felt ill, gross to the touch, but slowly his mind began to feel numb and pleasant. The echoes of the world began to filter in, much softer and more soothing than Ash had ever remembered the world being. It was a pleasant feeling. With a slow hum, echoing his throat, he let his eyes open, the world a startling blue. 

The sky was so pretty, with fluffy clouds dancing across without a care in the world.He could faintly see bird and bug pokemon, prancing through the air. And listened as the water pokemon played with grass types in the small pond just a fair bit aways from the school. 

This world was lovely, and he couldn't bear to think about the things that could ruin it.

…

But there was…

The bad people, the stupid prophecies, the legendaries-

Ash felt his thought process halt, yells echoing his ears, calling for him.

He blinked slowly, glancing down with a sharp turn of his head.

The humans – His friends? - jumped back by the movement. His eyes lingered on them, blinking slowly and cocking his head to the side as he tuned in.

" _ SATOSHI _ !" He turned to his partner and long life friend, the little yellow mouse resting on the ledge. " _ SATOSHI PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME! _ "

He held out a hand, a tentacle following his movement with ease. He didn't want to leave Pikachu. He wanted to stay with him, with them, forever. Be with everyone he ever loved, and to be sheltered by the world.

But the world was dangerous.

Thanks to those legendaries…

Those horrible creatures, all useless in their job, in their very abilities. How often had he been forced to rescue them, to save them from themselves because they couldn't do an Arceus-damned thing?? How often had he died for them? Cried and mourned and feared them? How often had he seen his own Pokemon be bulldozed over, killed and mauled by the creatures sworn to protect them.

How often had he seen Pikachu pitifully be beaten, pass and fade away before his very eyes thanks to a stupid legendary.

A surge of anger rushed to his chest, a sharp scream echoing his throat. Everyone scrambled back, even as Pikachu stayed rooted to his spot.

" _ SATOSHI PLEASE! _ " Pikachu sobbed, small yellow paws furiously rubbing at his face. " _ THAT'S ENOUGH SATOSHI, PLEASE FIGHT IT! _ "

That's what he needed to do...Fight them..For Pikachu, for his Pokemon, for Lucario and Riolu!

With a smile that stretched across his face, he glanced at Pikachu with the faintest hints of regret pooling in his gut. 

" **For you my friend.** " Ash cooed, laying a single appendage on his buddy's head. " **I will end the ones who hurt us.** "

Pikachu's eyes widened, a screech echoing his throat as Ash pulled back quickly. Small paws clawed through the air, trying to grab an arm that was no longer there.

Without a thought, his partner leaped, momentarily being saved by the big human, the professor, by a hair's breath. Both of them slammed into the railing, but pikachu was quick to flail and look for him.

" _ SATOSHI NO! _ " Pikachu screeched a single paw rising out to try and reach for him. 

He knew exactly who to get at first.

" **My friend, all will be well soon.** " He purred, floating back before dashing towards the temple he knew too well.

Off to see a certain Tapu…

\-----

_ No. _

Kukui let out a scream, jumping back as the Nihilego wrapped its tentacles around Ash and dashed off the ledge.

For a solid second, it seemed that the ultra beast was going to drop Ash to the unforgiving ground below, where he was likely to break a bone if he hit the floor. But, in a jolt, the Nihilego wrapped around him tighter, squeezing his arms and legs like its life depended on it.

And Ash screamed.

It was animalistic, in a way Kukui would never think a human could make.

His boarder, teeth bared as he tried to fight tooth and nail, thrashing about and twisting.

The Nihilego swung with his thrashing, wiggling about as it flowed along. Suddenly, its body lit blue, the brightest source being from the tentacles still wrapped around Ash's limbs, as it slowly crawled up onto its jelly like body.

It spazzed out, as if shocked before dipping again. With a lazy twirl, it brought its tentacles up quickly and started to merge their bodies together.

Kukui froze, even as Ash let out a screech of pain, writhing even more. His eyes shot wide open, seeking solace in everything and anything. His eyes darted over to them, lingering on Kukui before he was completely submerged into the Ultra beast.

His students let out screams, hanging over the edge of the rail as they slowly saw Ash fall limp in the Nihilego. Ash's Pokemon stood stock still, eyes wide as they stared at their trainer, Pikachu standing on the rail.

And Kukui…

He fell to his knees.

Staring, as his border just limply hung in the sky, unmoving save for Nihilego's gentle sway as it stayed afloat.

"PIKAPI!" Pikachu was screaming, but Kukui could only think so much.

Oh Tapu…

What was he going to do without his little spitball of energy?

He watched as Ash snapped his head up, jolting slightly at the movement. His students scrambled back. Lillie shaking and sobbing in fear.

He could faintly see his boarder blink owlishly, floating down to meet them at eye level.

"PIKAPI!" Pikachu screeched, urging Kukui to stand up and slowly crawl forward. "PIKAPI PIKA CHA!"

Kukui could only watch as Ash held an arm out, the tentacle following the movement. As if in slow motion the tentacle began to change, from thin and slim to thin and frilly. Almost similar to a Frillish or a Jellicent's tentacles…

Its color turned a darker blue, not unlike the color of Ash's aura from earlier. But it looked..

Tainted.

Pikachu reached out, arms outstretched as Ash stared blankly.

Suddenly, his face twisted angrily, eyes flashing blue as a dark color overturned the white portions of his eyes. Another animalistic scream echoed his throat, echoed by a screech from the Nihilego. Little slits in the jelly like body began to appear, the Nihilego growing in size ever so slightly.

Everyone scrambled back, and Kukui was ashamed to admit he had taken a very small shift back as well.

Ash's Pokemon, the brave little souls, stayed rooted to the spot, eyes never leaving their trainer. Pikachu was the only one hunched over on the railing, making odd motions to his face.

Numbly, Kukui could barely make out Pikachu crying.

"PIKAPI PI!" Ash tilted his head, angry look falling. "CACHU PIKAPI, PIKA CHA PIKA!"

He stayed stock still for a few seconds, a smile gracing his face.

Kukui felt his stomach drop, as Ash laid a delicate frill onto Pikachu's head.

" **For you my friend.** " Ash cooed, a sickeningly adoring look crossed his face. " **I will end the ones who hurt us.** "

He pulled back far too fast, shooting back as Pikachu screamed, electricity crackling across his fur.

And the idiot jumped..

Kukui acted fast, slamming his body against the railing and wrapping his leg around one of the bars. He barely managed to grab onto the electric mouse, hissing as electricity danced up his arms. His stomach could very well already begin bruising.

Pikachu began to thrash ever so slightly, not enough to try and get out of his grip but enough to convey his anger and sadness.

"PIKAPI CHA!" Pikachu cried, as Kukui lifted him up, limping slightly as his left leg ached.

Ash's face dropped slightly, from adoring to slightly concerned.

" **My friend, all will be well soon.** " Ash purred, floating up high, well above the school's roof.

He glanced around once, before locking onto a certain location and darting off.

Pikachu wiggled out of his grasp, jumping onto his shoulder and onto the floor. He began barking to all the Pokemon, moving forward and trying to get out of the room.

Kukui acted.

"THIS IS AN ULTRA EMERGENCY." He snarled, lifting up his blackboard and slapping the illuminated wall.

His students all slammed into action, the pokemon rushing over just as fast. Pikachu barked at his teammates, forcing them all to move as they forced themselves to the large center circle.

Kukui wasted no time, sprinting over and screeching to a halt on Ash’s spot. His students gave him a wary, heart broken look before glancing away.

It didn’t take long for everyone to be sent down at high speeds, dressing accordingly for the situation.

Kukui stayed in his usual attire, save for a band of blue that circled both his wrists. Pikachu hopped onto his shoulder, giving him his trainer’s pokeballs.

Soon enough, the group was flying at high speeds heading towards the direction they assumed Ash was going.

Almost instantly, Lusamine popped up on their wrist bands.

She looked startled, seeing nearly each of the students face, sans one and in his place was Kukui, looking both heartbroken and determined. She coughed slightly, shaking her head, and starting her spiel once more.

“Ultra Guardians,” It felt almost silly saying that, now that all the students were almost too serious. “We’re receiving traces of Ultra Energy that is heading towards the ruins, our scans are matching this creature to Nihilego-” and wasn’t that a punch to the gut- “However there is another signature we cannot trace, we can only assume this Nihilego has consumed and fused with someone, or something else.”

There was a brief silence.

“Ash.” Kukui gritted out.

“Wha-”

“ASH!” He barked angrily, startling everyone in the office with her.

Burnet pushed by her, taking up most of the screen as horror colored her features.

“Kukui-” She trailed off softly. “Please-”

“It took Ash when we least expected.” Kukui said softly, screwing his eyes shut. “We were just starting class and the thing came out of nowhere. Ash jumped in front of me and before I knew it, he was being dragged off the balcony."

His eyes glossed over slightly, scrunching up the reigns gripped tightly in his hands.

Pikachu chittered angrily, racing over carefully and barking at Garchomp. Garchomp lifted their head and grumbled, letting out a deafening roar before speeding up.

Kukui was vaguely aware of the kid's yelps of surprise but stayed quiet as he leaned forward.

"We'll meet you there." Lusamine nodded, already out of her seat.

"Ultra Roger, Lusamine." he grumbled.

They sped over towards the Ruins, hearing explosions begin to ring out throughout the area.

Pokemon of all kinds formed a perimeter around the area, all turning their heads the moment Kukui and the students landed.

Like a magic trick, all of Ash's Pokemon forced themselves out of their pokeballs. Shaking their fur and feathers before standing - or flying - tall.

And the perimeter opened.

The wild Pokemon stood up and stepped back, literally setting up an entryway for the group.

Kukui stood ramrod straight, glancing at the pokemon. All of them looked vaguely concerned, others getting downright worried, but seemed insistent on staying in place. None of them looked vaguely possessed or influenced, but all of them had a look in their eyes.

Something more was happening.

He motioned for the kids to stay low, quickly waving them down before pressing a finger to his lips.

Something didn't feel right.

Quietly, they crawled forward, looking left and right as explosions rang around them.

Kukui paused, feeling the ground shake, and forcing his students to step back and wait.

Kiawe screamed, grabbing Sophocles and dragging him into the ground as the ceiling caved beside them. Kukui could faintly see the silhouette of the Nihilego, tentacles flailing before it managed to get a grip.

"EVERYONE TO THE SIDE, NOW!" he barked, grabbing Lillie and pulling her close when a piece of the rubble flew towards them.

Kukui stumbled back, holding an arm out to drag both Mallow and Lana to his side, Kiawe grabbing Sophocles and rushing to his side.

Ash's Pokemon backed up, circling them but facing the fight. Pikachu held a paw up, as if waiting for something…

The dust settled, Ash-Nihilego floating easily above the rubble. Tapu Koko floated down, breathing harshly.

They both were battered and littered with bruises. But one was clearly winning.

And it wasn't Tapu Koko.

Kukui could feel his stomach turn, watching as Nihilego began to heal with nothing more than a quick swipe of their tentacle. Scratches and bruises began to magically wash away with a light blue glow as their body grew in size.

It was terrifying.

Eyes scattered across their body were unfocused, some directly watching them, unblinking and unmoving while others danced around to the pokemon keeping perimeter. Ash was really the only one staring at Tapu Koko.

A glob of poison began to form on each of the tentacles, eight to be exact, as Tapu Koko fell forward slightly.

With a lack of remorse, each of the tentacles flung the poison one by one but at a rapid pace, more poisoned globs quickly taking the place of the ones that were thrown.

Tapu Koko managed to dodge the first eight, but it started to tire out, making small mistakes before dodging the last minute. The speed was hard to follow, but anyone could tell that the legend was beginning to falter and slow down. 

Then one clipped their shield.

That's all it took before the Nihilego screeched in delight, their rapid fire barrage suddenly quickened in pace.

Kukui watched, wide eyed as Tapu Koko was thrown back, cracking the wall and falling limply forward. A sickly purple hue covered its face as it twitched from the poison in its veins.

With a weak yell, the legendary sparked a flash of yellow surrounding them. They stayed still, a small white glow surrounding their body as they attempted to roost.

Their efforts were stopped when Nihilego zoomed forward, wrapping their frilly tentacles across Tapu Koko's limb and throwing them towards the other side of the room.

" **YOU CAN'T RUN TAPU!** " Ash's voice echoed across the room, sounding delightfully deranged. " **THIS IS IT, JUST ACCEPT IT!** "

Tapu's form laid still for a second. Slowly, but surely, the legendary began to rise, using both its arms to feebly sit up. A glare was directed at Ash before another shiver racked their body and they were forced to fall.

" **Oh don't worry your pretty lil head.** " Ash cooed, floating forward more calmly. " **This will be quick.** "

The Tapu trilled tiredly, a look of fear and defeat crossing its features.

Kukui turned away, eyes wide and unable to look any longer.

He didn't miss the way the students began to sob.

"ASH STOP!" Kiawe barked. "YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!"

Ash never turned to face them, instead the eyes on Nihilego's body all immediately turned to face them, eyes dilating.

" **But I do Kiawe!** " It sounded more like the Ash they knew, but everything about this was wrong. " **You'll understand...Or you won't actually, this is so nothing ever happens again.** "

"ASH PLEASE!" Lillie screamed, throwing her arm out in a desperate attempt to call out to him. "YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT, I KNOW YOU CAN FIGHT IT!"

Ash turned slightly, his sclera completely black with only an aura blue eye staring at them. She flinched, falling back into Kukui's side and in Mallow and Lana's arms.

Ash looked vaguely concerned, floating forwarding and completely forgoing Tape Koko for a second. He stayed floating for what felt like forever, letting an unnerving silence bloom before a crooked smile broke out onto his face. Ash's head snapped to the side, too fast for anybody to see but enough to make them flinch.

" **Oh how childishly naive.** " Ash purred, starting to encircle them, he paused eyes scrunching up sadly. " **Don't you understand?** "

He began to point at the Tapu, who was panting heavily at this point, trying desperately to get up.

" **Those…. Things,** " he spat, turning to face the Legendary before looking at them. " **Are dangerous, they cause nothing but trouble** ."

He floated back, high above them all as an ominous blue glow started to flow down their tentacles. A small sphere began to form on their right tentacle before it was brought up to the center of his chest.

Kukui couldn't help but compare it to the aura sphere Ash had shown him in the morning.

" **But don't worry,** " Ash turned to the Tapu, raising the aura sphere high as it began to grow in size. " **We can fix that.** "

Kukui let a scream rip from his throat, he grabbed the children in hopes of preventing them from seeing the carnage. But their screams told him they were watching every moment.

The wild Pokemon turned away, looking down.

" **AURA SPHERE!** " The blue orb was thrown, whipping hard and fast towards the downed Legend.

Everything began to ring, a bright light blinding him.

When he could see, Tapu was still there.

And so was Pikachu and Ash's pokemon.

What-

\------

Pikachu gritted his teeth, everything about this was wrong, and the Pokemon around them could do nothing as said by their Tapu.

Gods were useless.

His eyes narrowed, tensing and sparking as he saw the poisoned Aura Sphere grow.

Just a little further.

The kids and the professor were screaming and he really hoped that they would stop soon. It always made his job harder when people didn't understand what he was doing.

His team stood by his side, tense and unsure. Rookies they were, but they'd been doing well so far.

And the Aura Sphere left Ash's limb.

" _ NOW!" _ Pikachu shrieked, zipping past everyone and in front of the Tapu.

His tail began to grow heavy, tapping the floor with a soft clink. With a deep breath, he jumped forward and careened all his weight into his tail, slapping the aura sphere with all his might.

Ash stumbled in shock, eyes shooting in worry.

Pikachu struggled at the standstill, trying to push just a little bit more against the aura sphere driving into his tail. Finally the aura sphere faltered slightly, and with that in mind he sent it back towards his partner, who jolted in shock as his own poisoned aura sphere knocked him in the stomach.

The resulting explosion threw Ash back, Nihilego's arms gripping the floor in an attempt to slow their fall. It worked, and they stopped a mere few feet away from the entourage of Pokemon still keeping up their fruitless barrier.

Pikachu stood tall, glancing at his team who stood tall and proud, ready for...Anything.

And that anything was Ash…

With a grimace, he looked back to his partner, who was floating back slowly. He had a look of confusion and hurt, like he was unable to understand why Pikachu was doing what he was doing.

" _ I know what to do. _ " Pikachu looked at Lycanroc, who stiffened. " _ I need you all to follow me, no matter how much you don't want to do this." _

" **Pikachu,** " Ash's voice rang across the room softly, startling the humans still shaking. " **What are you doing?"**

" _ I'm stopping you from doing something Arceus-damned awful." _ Pikachu barked back, standing up to his back paws and walking forward. " _ No matter how much we both believe, you know this fucker here doesn't deserve it." _

Torracat flinched, and even Rowlet puffed up, all three of his comrades stared at him in disbelief as Poipole glanced around confused. It was the first time they had heard Pikachu's blatant disregard for Tapu.

Well that just confirmed Pikachu's suspicion that they weren't all too ready for this.

" **They're Dangerous bud,** " Ash cooed brokenly. " **They don't care about us, I just want to keep you all safe."**

The words nearly made Pikachu break, feeling the bile rise in his throat as he stopped himself from crying for his Satoshi.

How often had they said that to each other?

He shook his head, letting out a soft sigh before letting Electricity build into his cheeks.

With a soft screech, a bolt of lightning shot out, missing Ash's left side on purpose. Still, the Nihilego fusion jolted to the side, almost shocked by the action.

" _ If you want to talk about Dangerous, talk about me. _ " He snarled, another bolt of lightning digging into the ground in front of Ash. " _ I can keep us safe, you don't have to get rid of the legendaries for that." _

Ash dodged another bolt, this time flying lower to the ground.

" **Pikachu…** " Ash's face twisted into something unpleasant. "T **hey're only going to cause more dangers to the world-"**

Pikachu shot another bolt of lightning, this time above the pokemon still holding the barrier. Above them, the building began to crackle and break, large chunks of concrete falling on to the dazed pokemon.

Ash let out a shout, rushing over and shielding the Pokemon with his body. The sight of him caused them to scramble and run. Ignoring the falling debris around them. The heavy building caused the ultra beast to buckle, swaying before a bright blue light washed over him. Letting them uneasily float back as they kept an eye on the Pokemon who reformed the barrier.

" _ Pikachu, what the actual Tapu are you doing! _ " Lycanroc snarled, stepping back from the mouse.

Pikachu sneered, poor naive rookies they were.

" _ I said, trust me." _ Pikachu snapped back, turning to face Ash who was now in front of them.

Ash looked concerned, glancing back at the carnage and then at Pikachu.

" **Pikachu…** " His voice sounded so haunting to Pikachu's ears. " **Why would you do that?** "

Pikachu grimaced, shooting another thunderbolt, but this time Ash had blocked it with the back of his tentacle. Both of them ignored the way the bolt fizzled against his skin. 

_ Good, _ Pikachu thinks, standing tall.

" _ You say these Legendaries are dangerous but all I have seen is them protecting themselves. _ " And he shoots another Thunderbolt, this one viciously batted away. " _ And yet I'm the one fighting just to fight." _

Ash sneers, and raises a hand a dark aura forming at the center before he flinches and it dissipates.

" **You don't know what-"** He's cut off this time by an electro ball.

" _ I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I AM DOING." _ Pikachu screeches, giving a glance to his teammates who seem to finally get the memo and stand by his side, both Poipole and Rowlet floating uneasily above them. " _ The question is why aren't you stopping us, some dangerous pokemon." _

" **You aren't dangerous."** Ash scowls.

Pikachu glares back, eyes falling closed as a deep sigh escapes his chest.

_ Oh Satoshi, _ He thinks, his mouth quivering slightly.

" _ Then all this is your fault. _ " Pikachu let out an empty chuckle, ignoring the nauseous feeling building up at the center of his throat.

He fell to all fours, fur sparking up as he glared at his teammates.

_ "This is the only way." _ He whispered,  _ "This may not be what we want to do...But we have no choice." _

Despite uneasy glances, they nodded, falling in line with his choices. With a shake of his head he glanced at Ash and shot off in a quick attack.

_ I'm so sorry Satoshi... _

\----

Kukui, winced, watching as the small yellow pokemon nailed Ash right in the stomach, knocking the poke fusion back a bit.

He watched with wide eyes as Ash raised an arm, intending to strike the rodent mid air. But…

It never came down.

Kukui continued to watch in blanketed awe as the rodent flipped into a Thunderbolt, forcing his friend to dodge. Ash's other pokemon looked hesitant, but a bark from Pikachu had them moving. They fired off the weakest moves they could do. But another bark from Pikachu had them rushing around and doing things far too close for Kukui's liking.

It was then he realized that none of his Pokemon were close to hitting him.

Torracat blatantly missed with their Flame Charges, Lycanroc's rock throw barely grazed the boy, Rowlet kept Leafage up in an effort to blind the fusion as Poipole splattered his kid with paint.

It was only Pikachu aiming to actually hit.

An Electro Ball was shot out, hitting the boy in the stomach and forcing him near the entrance of the room, where he was afraid Ash would turn and run. With wide eyes, he noticed Burnet and the Aether crew trying to edge their way around, careful not to bring Ash's attention towards them.

"Professor," His eyes darted to Lana, who looked so confused. "Why are Pikachu and the others fighting Ash…. Don't they know that's their trainer."

He glanced up, watching as Pikachu jumped back, probably to take a quick breather as Rowlet stepped forward in his place. Both of them had looks of unwilling compliance, as if they had to do this for a reason they didn't want to.

Kukui might not know what they're doing but-

"I think they know exactly what needs to be done."

The thought of anything happening to Ash made him sick, he had zero idea about how the kids released Lusamine from her time with Nihilego. But with how the kids seemed to look...This wasn't it.

"Kids," four pairs of eyes turned to look at him, lost and confused. "Get your pokemon out...We're following Pikachu's lead."

Eyes widened, even as they looked at their Pokemon in worry. But with steely determination that they must have learned from Ash, they shed their fears and held their pokeballs up high.

Out came a myriad of Pokemon: Popplio, Togedemaru, Snowy, Steenee, Marowak and Turtonator. The six Pokemon looked dazed and confused, but a quick rundown had them balking in shock.

Right as they looked like they were going to argue with their trainers Pikachu bounded forward, eyes hard and set.

With a start, Kukui realized that Pikachu looked like the Veteran Pokemon Kukui knew he was. Fur unruffled but peaked in agitation, electrical pouches a deep red from overuse of his electricity, ears alert as he stood on all fours and tail posed ready to move at a moment's notice.

The mouse looked ready for a war, and it hurt Kukui to find that Pikachu looked so… Used to this scenario.

He barked at the Pokemon, which seemed to gain their attention as they quietly listened to him. Marowak seemed to have lost their temper as they barked and pointed at Pikachu. Something accusatory must have left their lips because Pikachu marched towards them, falling back to two legs.

"PIKA- PIKACHU PIKA, PI PIKAPI PICHU!" He barked at the Pokemon, who went wide eyed and stumbled back. "PIKA!"

He turned to the other Pokemon as they flinched back, ducking their heads down in shame. In a much quieter voice Pikachu continued, finally deeming himself finished when he broke off and back towards the battlefield, yelling at Torracat who seemed to need a quick breather.

Despite earlier hesitance, the Pokemon looked at each other and bounded forward, allowing Ash's Pokemon a quick breather.

Kukui stiffened, a cold hand touching his back, turning quickly, he noticed Burnet standing there with the other Aether employees just idly roaming about a few feet behind them. Wicke and Faba, being the only two that were quickly setting up a device by his side.

"What's going on?" Lusamine asked, staring at the team of Pokemon working without a single trainer.

Kukui shrugged helplessly, fingering the pokeball in his coat.

"I don't know…"

\---

Ash desperately tried to dodge everything he could.

What were they doing? Why were they doing this? Couldn't they see that he was only trying to help??

He noticed Tapu Koko getting up, and with the help of some wild mon, began to escape. Ash tried his best, desperate to make sure the legendary stayed so he could finish his job. He couldn't let them-

Pikachu screeched and he was forced to dive away from an iron tail that hurt far worse than he ever remembered it hurting before. He pulled back and curled on himself, catching a flying Togedemaru and tossing her away from him.

_ Please stop!  _ He internally screamed, trying to get away.

His energy was draining and he could feel the nasty pull of exhaustion begin to creep in.

_No, no,_ ** _no._** He needed the energy, he needed to go home. He didn't want to have nothing again.

**"Stop!"** He screamed, pushing them back with his aura.  **"I've had enough!"**

And Pikachu, his partner, sneered at him. Fur spiking up as he mockingly spat at him.

Pikachu was doing what he could, he knew what he was doing. Thank Arceus for his partner.

_ "Satoshi! _ " It was so odd hearing his name… " _ You know how to end this… you know how to stop this, so why don't you?" _

Ash flinched at the implication, throwing his limbs up for a non-existent blow. He could never do that, he would never do that to his partners, they were his, not theirs.

What did that mean?

**"I wouldn't ever do that to you and you know it!"** He barked back, floating uneasily.

Pikachu never responded verbally. Instead, shooting off in a Quick Attack towards him.

But that Quick Attack turned into a Volt Tackle. He had known his partner had that move, he had known that Pikachu was still very much capable of using it, but he had never seen it be put into action since Sinnoh.

_ That's gonna separate me. _

As if in slow motion, he raised both arms up.

_ I won't let that happen. _

He lashed out in an attempt to spook his partner into changing course.

Instead…

Instead, he clipped his partner on the head.

He let out a shriek of horror as his Partner careened off to the side, righting himself easily in mid-air and landing on the floor.

_ What had he done, what had he done, what had he done,  _ **_what had he-_ **

He felt the spark of electricity spark up his left arm, shrieking in pain as the electricity ran through his body.

He had planned this,  _ Pikachu, please, you're almost there. _

Pikachu shook off the blow easily, pawing at his cheek. A sharp ringing entered Ash's head, causing him to feel dizzy, everything began to blur, doubling as he confusedly looked around. Things seemed closer and farther, and he could feel his body begin to drop.

_ "Everyone!"  _ Was that Pikachu?  _ "Electrium Z formation, now!" _

Were they battling? Should he help? Did he get hit by the confusion instead of Pikachu?

He had to help.

**He had to.**

\----

Faba winced, recalling his Hypno back as quickly as he could. Anything he had would stand little chance against the now confused Fusion.

The boy, the Kantonian trainer trapped in the flesh of Nihilego, began to sway. Drunkenly glancing around and spinning ever so slightly in place as fumbled words of nothing echoed his lips.

Bright bursts of blue popped around their body, causing parts of his form to grow and distort at random.

The electric rat began to bark, all the Pokemon falling in line beside it.

"Everyone, keep an eye and follow Pikachu." The young fire trainer barked, causing a small yelp from Miss Lillie and others.

Pikachu turned to look at Ash and spoke loud and clear. The boy, in his confused state, nodded along a broken look of determination breaking through.

And the mouse started to move, along with the other pokemon. At first, it didn't look like much to Faba, but then-

"They're trying to use Gigavolt Havoc…" Burnet whispered, eyes wide.

The children scrambled, taking place and following the movement.

"He's doing it too." Lusamine whispered, her gaze set firmly on the trainer.

When he turned, it was obvious the fusion was struggling to follow along. Their movements were sloppy and drunk but a clear way of following the Z move.

The power built up by unbelievable means, everyone stepping back as a ball of electricity formed in Pikachu's palm.

It might have been because of how dazed he was, Faba was sure of it. He never bothered to confirm if anyone else heard it.

_ "I'm sorry, Satoshi." _

And the world went white.

\----

Kukui watched as the Gigavolt havoc slammed into his border, who seemed to have unwillingly followed along. There was no mistaking the fear and horror as the move reached him.

He could hear the apology and the pained scream.

White spots danced across his vision, before he looked up, the sight of Ash and Nihilego struggling to stay afloat was all he could see.

The duo were still very much attached to the hip, but Pikachu was barking orders. The Pokemon began to slowly fill the area beneath the two, looking up as they waited.

They didn't have to wait long.

Ash tipped forward, a long sickening squelch was heard as the Nihilego was pulled away, pieces of their flesh sticking together. Then like magic, the duo fell apart.

And fell.

Kukui stood up, ignoring the vertigo demanding he sit back down before he sprinted as fast as he could. He wasn't far, but fuck did it feel like forever.

The pokemon, bless their tiny little hearts, managed to cushion Ash's fall enough to where it was unlikely he broke anything.

Kukui was quick at bundling him in his arms, pressing a shaking hand against his neck before leaning in to hear if he was breathing.

And he was.

His form looked bruised and defeated, dark bags circling beneath his eyes as his arms paled in comparison to the rest of his body, seemingly white compared to his tanner complexion. Large red welts circled his arms, legs and neck, probably from the battle he had with it earlier today.

Kukui couldn't stop the tears from slowly falling down his face, leaning down to hopefully stop his choked sobs.

His border, his student, his-

"Pikapi."

Kukui shot up in surprise, looking at Pikachu who looked very grim. If Pikachu wasn't…

The electric mouse crawled onto his trainer, sitting on his chest and raising a paw. If this didn't look utterly ridiculous he might have stopped it.

Maybe then he could have stopped that ridiculous slap.

Pikachu's paw slammed down on Ash's cheek ridiculously hard, the Kanto trainers head lolling to the side.

He tried to grab the mouse, or at least shove him off of Ash, but Pikachu cooed. The electric Pokemon easily curled into the space between Ash's neck, closing his eyes as a soft trail of blue began to glow between the two.

Kukui swallowed, hands splayed above them, but hesitating. Whatever the mouse had done was for a reason, no matter how cruel it looked and sounded from an outside perspective.

The other pokemon crawled forward, cooing and chirping. Pikachu's eyes twitched, slowly glancing towards them.

"Pika, pikachu pika." his voice sounded strained.

Pikachu flinched.

Kukui glanced up, eyes tracing the Pokemon who looked confused and worried. Whatever was happening, Pikachu sure as hell wasn't explaining well.

Ash jolted in his arms, dislodging Pikachu and sending the mouse to the floor. Pikachu's previous reflexes seemed to fail as he simply let himself fall to the floor with a thud.

Kukui held Ash tightly in his arms, confusion coloring his features when bruised eyes slowly opened.

"Wha-" His voice sounded abused, as if he had been screaming for hours.

Kukui let out a broken sob, holding his boarder close to his chest. He rubbed Ash's shoulders, taking care of the still prominent bruises littering his body. Ash limply fell into the hug, grimacing and glancing about with a lolling head.

"-leg-." He muttered quietly, voice lossed in the sea of the Aether foundation workers moving about.

Kukui pulled him back, noting that Ash was no longer staring at him but at the pokemon.

He looks up, glancing at the damage. The Pokemon looked worried, albeit relieved at Ash's more conscious state. None of them were injured, which was surprising considering how bad the fight looked to be. 

There was a call of his name, and he peaked up to see Burnet hurrying over to them with bandages in her arms, a look of fear and disbelief in her face.

Kukui turned back shaking the boy in his arms slightly till Ash slowly turned back to him.

"Wha- wha happ... n?" Ash slurred slightly, Head lolling back slightly.

"Nihilego." The name caused a shiver to run through his body. "It possessed you."

There was silence, Burnet biting her lip as she kneeled before him, beginning to help with wrapping Ash's bruises and cuts littered on his arms and legs. He didn't fuss, didn't move really, he laid limply against Kukui's arms staring almost lifelessly at the Pokemon that fought him.

"Ash, honey-" Burnet laid a hand against his cheek, gently bringing his attention to her. "Are you alright?"

Dark brown eyes stayed unfocused, widening for a fraction of a second. He began to slowly move his jaw, and now that Kukui was focusing more intently, he could see the bruises starting to form across his jaw and on his cheek.

"...They?" Ash finally managed to murmur.

"I'm sorry Ash, I didn't hear that." Burnet's laugh sounded a bit hysterical to Kukui. "Can you say it again?"

He tore his eyes away from the scene, noticing the Aether foundation employees bring up some Beast balls to capture the Nihilego. He quietly wondered what would happen. Would they release the Beast back into the Ultra wormhole? Or would they rather get rid of it’s presence like they had to do to more dangerous pokemon? 

"Wha...What..Doing...Em?" Ash squirmed slightly, eyes focusing back onto the pokemon.

"Pika?"

"Ash, I don't know what you're trying to say?" Burnet carefully placed an arm onto Ash's shoulder, trying to be gentle to prevent hurting him too much.

Kukui heard a soft squeal of pain, his eyes focused almost instantly on the apologetic employee, who seemed to have stepped on one of Nihilego's feelers.

The squeal did more than Kukui ever thought it could.

Ash began to thrash in his arms, and despite how weak he seemed he was certainly putting up a fight.

"Ash!" Kukui wasn't sure if he was yelling, "Ash please, you're going to hurt yourself!"

Ash didn't freeze, even as Burnet held his arms down and they tried to wonder what was happening, to panicked to really think of anything else.

And then they felt it.

A sudden flush of jagged pins and needles traveled up his arms. Kukui grit his teeth, biting down the yelp that was building up in his throat. Burnet hissed, slumping forward before falling back.

"Burnet!" He nearly yelled, trying to get Ash to calm down in his arms while looking over his newly wed wife in fear.

She seemed fine, breathing calmly and just looking into the sky. She seemed sluggish and tired, eyes falling closed before snapping open.

"'m fine." She slurred just as more jagged pins and needles raced up his arms. "Jus' a lil tired."

"Professors!"

Kukui looked up, watching in shock as the Nihilego sluggishly tried to rise, floating unsteadily but very clearly still low to the ground.

He held Ash tighter, ready to move at a moment's notice.

The pins and needles in his arms died down but an uncomfortable feeling twisted in his gut, yelling at him to run, to leave, to hide.

**_Dodge it!_ **

Kukui looked around, his breathing began to pick up as he tried to pull Ash closer. What was happening, why was he feeling like this?

**_BLOCK IT!_ **

On instinct he threw his hands up to his face, waiting for an impact that never came.

But he did feel his legs get a touch bit lighter.

Almost instantly, the rising fear he felt died just as Burnet launched into a sitting position blinking rapidly.

"PIKAPI!"

Kukui jolted in surprise, turning to see Ash sprinting to the Nihilego. Pikachu clinging to his body and pounding his soft fists against flesh.

Torracat raced by, Lycanroc right by his tail. Both of them jumped forward, blocking Ash's attempt to move any further.

And the boy jumped.

He threw himself over his two Pokemon, and for a second, Kukui could see wide eyes staring at everything.

"ASH!"

\----

Pikachu screeched, tiny fists beating against his trainer's chest. Too afraid, too weak to do even the faintest of thundershocks.

" _ SATOSHI, SATOSHI STOP! _ " he yelled, biting at Ash's shirt and pulling.

Pikachu could feel his aura, already weak and getting weaker by the second. His dumb, idiot trainer doing nothing to preserve the little he had. Even if Pikachu was with him, he wasted a majority of his aura giving it to his Satoshi earlier.

He didn't have enough for a second spurt.

" _ SATOSHI LISTEN TO ME! _ " Pikachu spat, climbing up onto his shoulder. " _ YOU'RE BEING STUPID, PLEASE SATOSHI STOP IT!" _

"No-" Ash grunted, running towards the Nihilego.

The Aether employees stood by, raising their arms.

And Ash lashed out.

Pikachu shivered at the feeling of Aura slamming into him, spiking his need to protect his Satoshi. There was no blue, but at a quick glance forward, the Aether employees had all slumped up towards each other. Ash calmed their Aura to the extreme, making them sluggish and nothing more.

It would only last for a few seconds. And by then his Satoshi had already reached the wretched creature.

Pikachu snarled, kicking his legs and wrapping himself firmly on Ash's head, seething with rage.

Nihilego reached up, but still very clearly pressed against the floor, straining to reach them.

Ash threw an arm out, gripping the feeler gently but firmly and Pikachu panicked. He raced down and bit the feeler, gritting his tiny teeth in an attempt to rip at the Beast’s flesh. It didn’t work, or help at all but at the very least he got the Nihilego to rear back slightly.

And he heard the first tell-tale signs of a sob, and turned to his Satoshi who was tired. He's so tired and sad, and looks far too close to dying again. But Pikachu won't let him, that's not fair Satoshi, it's not fair to Pikachu and his Pokemon, to professor Kukui and Burnet.

But Ash brings up his other hand, caress's his electric pouch that has no energy to shock him.

"Pikachu,"  _ -don't use that voice-  _ "Pikachu please, I need to try one more time I need to try and save them,  _ please." _

His voice is filled with sadness and regret, but all Pikachu can see is hollowed cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes.

He doesn't move and lets Satoshi do his thing, lets Satoshi do what he feels he's obligated to do.

Save someone else.

He can feel the Aura transfer beneath his paws, feeling the Beast get stronger as Ash grows weaker and weaker. He watches with unmoving brown eyes as Ash begins to deteriorate, falling to his knee as he tries to keep the flow steady.

But there's no more to give.

Pikachu screams, a sob flying to his throat as he pounces onto Ash's chest clinging with his entire might. He can feel the ending of Ash's aura, can feel the way it's barely enough to keep his heart pumping. Less than any normal human had, and far less than his usual reservoir of aura.

He looks up, watching as Ash's eyes fluttered open, everything growing more pronounced; bruises, scratches, and his cheekbones.

Everything is fading, everything is frowning.

And Satoshi is dying.

_ "SATOSHI, SATOSHI NO YOU IDIOT!" _

And he pounds two tiny little paws against his chest, trying to spark his aura into working and generating faster. But Ash is fading, gritting his teeth and grunting as he sits down.

A spark of blue echoes around his frame, a yelp of pain escaping his lips. Ash puts on a smile though, tears brimming at his eyes.

"It's...I'm gonna be alright bud." Ash is a liar, he lies all the time.

Why did he have to lie now?

Pikachu glances around wildly, staring at his team, staring at the pokemon and the dumb humans that would never understand.

All the Pokemon have aura, Pikachu can feel it, but they have no way of transferring that Aura to Satoshi. Pikachu is too weak to be an aura transfer, he'd most likely save that aura for himself but he didn't need that, he needed to transfer Aura.

"Hey, come on I'm gonna be-" Ash has to pause, scrunching up his eyes as his form flickers. "I'm gonna be fine."

_ "You lie too much." _ Pikachu gripes, burying his face in Ash's chest.

He can feel tiny sharp claws dig into his back, but he refuses to move, refuses to feel anything else but Satoshi beneath his arms.

He wonders if he could stay with Satoshi like this for eternity.

\----

Kukui felt his entire body begin to buckle beneath him. His eyes unable to look away from his boarder slowly withering away.

Pikachu screamed, and that broke whatever trance he was in.

Finally focusing, he could only look with ongoing horror as Ash fell to his knees, his normally tan features falling paler and paler. Pikachu was gripping onto his shirt, shaking his tiny little head as screams and cries flew from his throat.

Kukui had never seen the mouse look so distraught before.

Ash's head lolled back, and he hit the floor. Not that it seemed to matter anyway.

His eyes were fluttering, and if Kukui were any closer he would bet that his pupils were dilating. His entire body seemed to get thinner by the moment, darker bags underlining his eyes.

"PIKAPI, PIKAPI PICHU PIKA!" the mouse yells, dragging his attention away momentarily.

The mouse looked just as sick, almost as if his entire body was mimicking what was happening to his partner.

The Professor stood up on shake legs, walking forward gingerly. He could feel Burnet grab onto his coat, whether to stop him or join him, he had no clue.

A yelp of pain echoed the area, Ash's entire body glowing blue as he arched up from his position on the floor.

Pikachu seemed to become more frantic, shaking both his and Ash's body.

And he heard it.

"It's… I'm gonna be alright bud." he could see the faintest hint of a smile.

The Professor stumbled back, he didn't know what to do? What could he do?

Take him to the hospital? Would he make it? Could he move him?

Would he want to go?

Pikachu, similarly, seemed to have no idea what to do, desperately glancing around to everyone in the vicinity. Tiny paws holding out to them as if asking for something. The mouse pulled back and sobbed, staring longingly -knowingly- at Ash.

"Hey, come on, I'm gonna be-" It wasn't hard to hear his voice, everyone was so quiet. "I'm gonna be fine."

Finally, the mouse whispered something, and buried his face into Ash's chest.

It was…

Ash's head fell back, his smile never leaving. His head hit the concrete floor, eyes still wide.

His body slowly began to relax.

It was over…

With a heavy heart Kukui collapsed to his knees, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Ash-." A sob tore from his throat before he even realized what was happening.

The Kantonian glanced at him, his smile growing softer. With that...He closed his eyes.

His arms fell to his side, another erratic glow of blue encasing his body.

Before Kukui knew, his students were scrambling to their feet, running towards Ash. His name fell from their lips, but muted to his ears. Rowlet, faster than his teammates, flew up to Pikachu, gripping his scruff in an attempt to pull him away. His teammates came by, nudging Ash and trying to talk to Pikachu. 

Neither moved.

Ash flickered again, his body twitching against the blue strobe of light. He was fading, at least that's what it looked like to Kukui.

Pikachu stayed firm, even as his trainer's fading body gave way to the tear tracks and deep denial plastered on the mouse's face.

His students stood stock still, unable to move despite how close they were to Ash. They seemed unable to comprehend what was happening. It was quickly followed by Ash;s pokemon, who took careful steps back to stare in horror at what was happening. 

Not that Kukui could blame them, he was much the same.

Finally, something moved.

But it wasn't Ash

The big gelatinous form that was Nihilego, began to rise. Its body shivering and wiggling about. Without a sound, it rose above the students.

The scattered eyes on its form didn't seem to fade, instead closing until one was left, where it proceeded to look around the area.

And landed on Ash.

They seemed to be a bit hesitant, uncertainty flowing through their frame, before it raised its still Jellicent like feelers towards the boy.

Towards his boy.

Kukui reeled back, pokeball in hand just as his students screamed.

The Ultra beast reeled back, and stayed stock still. Its feelers raised in a ' _ I mean no harm _ ' pose, one that looked oddly familiar.

A glow of blue had all their eyes falling to Ash, whose fading body seemed to break apart.

The Nihilego crooned, flying just a bit lower. No one moved to do a thing as the Ultra beast raised a gentle feeler and rested it against Ash's fading body. Another low croon and its eyes began to open.

Kukui had no idea what to do, could he do anything against this?

When their Eyes began to glow, He froze.

He could feel something crawling and pulling against his skin, fairly low and not as anxiety inducing as before. But it crawled, like tiny Durant's prickling just barely beneath his skin. 

But then there were gasps, and turning to look, he could see his students, the pokemon and the rest of Aether begin to wiggle around uncomfortably. Pikachu seemed to be the only one unaffected, still pressed against Ash's chest.

And he rose. Eyes wide and ears perked.

He's head spun wildly, landing on Nihilego, a small chitter echoing his throat, thick with tears and barely even registering against Kukui's ears.

Nihilego crooned back, eyes closing and opening again. And Pikachu barked with laughter, chittering much louder.

The Professor didn't know what to think, he didn't know what to do when Pikachu slid off of Ash's body and pressed his head against his Trainer.

Pikachu began to hum, a song that Kukui didn't even recognize.

But whatever the duo was doing, it seemed to be bringing Ash back. The flickering began to fade and Ash's body began to become less transparent. Color returning to his face, enough to once again see the bruises sweltering in his arms and the bags beneath his eyes.

The Nihilego faltered and pulled back, hissing slightly. Pikachu perked up, ears twitching before he barreled over to one of the boxes by the Aether team. He rummaged through it slightly, picking up a Beast Ball and bounced back.

He chittered, holding up the ball and seemingly let the Nihilego decide. It didn't take long for the beast to reach over and tap the button, the ball clicking on the first twirl.

Pikachu didn't celebrate, just clutched the ball into his furry paws and barked at Kukui.

It was a bit hard to register that a pokemon had more of a grasp on the situation than any of the adults, but the Professor was quick to rush over and check over Ash.

He was breathing evenly, nothing seemed overly wrong other than the bruises. There was no bump on his head, and a trip to the hospital would probably do him good.

Everyone began to move, his students were by Ash's side and making sure he was okay. The Aether employees reached over to Pikachu, probably trying to get the beast ball.

And Pikachu snapped.

He screeched, holding the ball tightly and snapped his tiny jaws at them. No one knew what to do, other than move.

Even as they bundled Ash on a stretcher, with Pikachu pasted to his side, he refused to even let them look at the custom pokeball. Going so far as to lightly shock anyone who even walked by with the intention of taking the ball.

With a week in from the incident, Ash was still lying unconscious in the hospital bed, his skin still bruised and purple. But Pikachu seemed more lenient to let them at least check the Beast Ball.

\----

It was another week for Ash to wake up, the doctors were confused about his long resting time, and it did not ease Kukui's concerns in the slightest. 

The students were also avoiding combing by to visit. They would try, that was something. But one look at Ash had them rushing out the room. It was a wonder why their parents didn’t take them to a therapist, he was lucky enough that the Aether foundation were willing to provide some for them.

Even then, they seemed to refuse to come to the room, even if the therapist recommended it. 

He idly wondered why, but pushed the thoughts to the back of his head when Ash began to stir

\----

The lights were bright against Ash's eyes, and his throat hurt beyond belief. Was he getting sick? Didn't matter, he'd be fine by the end of the day anyway.

He could feel someone by his side, but he need a second to really compose himself and-

Wait…

Why was it this bright in the loft? Why didn't Rotom wake him up and-

No…

No wait he was in the ruins… Kukui was there holding him and-

Nihilego.

Where was-!?

He shot up in a panic, he needed to find Nihilego, he needed to make sure that they were okay!

Ash winced nearly yelping in pain when the bruises across his arms and neck ached against the sudden strain. It'd been awhile since he felt any pain like this, but it wasn't anything he was accustomed to.

Still-

"Ash- Ash!" Ash swiveled, turning to look at the Professor.

And boy did he look tired.

Small darkening bags beneath his eyes, a small bit of stubble coloring his chin. His glasses were off and so was his hat giving way the Professors tangled hair, and slightly pale skin. He looked so ruffled up.

"Pro-" He coughed slightly, feeling his throat ache against the strain. 

Wordlessly, he was handed a cup of water.

"Easy Ash, you've been asleep for 2 weeks, your throat is probably scratchy." The Professor hummed.

His eyes widened, Ash turning to stare at the professor in disbelief. It was then he noticed that he was in a hospital, could hear the tiny beeps of a heart monitor to his right. Could smell the gross antiseptic and alcohol permeate everything around him.

Two weeks…

Did...Did that mean?

He leaned back, letting his water cup slosh to the side and spill slightly on his leg.

The Professor jumped, hands on his face and asked him to do something or other.

Probably breathe.

But Ash wasn't worried about that.

Without him… without him, Nihilego would die. They needed Ash's aura to make their own. And now it's been two weeks with already low reserves.

They were probably dead when Ash promised to help.

"N...lego." He murmured softly, tears brimming to the edge of his eyes. "They-"

Kukui leaned back, eyes darkening for a fraction of a second.

"They're fine but…" He looked away, humming uneasily.

Instantly, Ash felt relieved, they were okay for now, and that was all that mattered. He tried his best to ignore the unease building in his stomach, instead glancing at Kukui as he willed the tears to go away with a few rapid blinks. 

"They can't survive for long." Kukui finished, turning to look at him, his fingers tapping the edge of his chair. "Not without… Not without you."

"I know." Ash answered back, sitting a tad bit straighter beside the strain on his stomach and back.

He knew the moment they were stuck together, the moment he felt the strain of their skin trying to absorb aura.

Kukui startled slightly, staring at him with slight disbelief before huffing in displeasure. Ash couldn't be certain whether the professor was mad at him or if it was just the circumstances they were put in.

"Lusamine decided you should keep Nihilego with you...But...But if you don't want to we can-"

Ash cut him off quickly, holding out his hand. The professor let his voice fall quiet, averting his eyes and letting Ash speak.

"My Pokemon." the Professor reached into his pocket and pulled out all the pokeballs he had.

His three standard Poke Balls and two Beast balls. The professor stood up and walked towards the door, calling out to Pikachu who raced in and slammed himself to the edge of the bed.

Pikachu didn't bother to move an inch closer, but raised his paw to wave at him with a delighted, "Pikapi!"

Ash smiled, trying to reach over to pet Pikachu, the mouse leaned forward but didn't move from his spot. Ash knew he couldn’t get Pikachu to move closer, not after everything the mouse did. But it’d take a while for Piakchu to really address what happened, so he had to wait.

Instead, he released his four pokemon, enjoying their delighted and happy cries as they tried to crowd him while avoiding his injured body. Torracat jumped at his side, easily warming the aches on his side and pressing against his stomach. The cat seemed to know what she was doing. Lycanroc on the other hand, was very careful about his paw placement, letting one lie gingerly across his leg as he pressed his snout against Ash’s side, whining softly. 

Rowlet just sat atop the bed, leaning over to pick at his hair with soft coos and gentle hums. Poipole on the other hand, seemed oblivious to his situation, instead happily dancing above him and excitedly talking about something Ash couldn’t understand too well. 

He coughed slightly, earning their attention, and with that he held up the unopened beast ball. 

"We got someone new." Ash smiled, finally opening up the last pokeball.

Instantly, the ultra beast materialized, barely small enough to fit into the already overcrowded room. His four pokemon and Kukui tensed, fur and feathers spiking in agitation, Poipoles' own tail swaying angrily. But both Pikachu and himself were fairly calm.

He tilted his head, blinking in time with Nihilego. The pokemon somehow managed to keep the form of their fusion. Spotted eyes surrounding their body as they're feelers looked similar to Jellicent Still the Ultra Beast managed to look a bit downtrodden, closing all of its eyes save one. To look at the floor.

All his pokemon seemed to calm down, instead glancing at him. He smiled, patting their heads with an easy grin. Like a flash, they all calmed considerable returning to their gentle cuddles and soft purrs. Pikachu grinned, winking at Poipole who calmed as well, floating down to stay at the mouse’s side. 

Ash turned to Nihilego, watching as the Beast turned to stare at him, unease flowing from their posture. 

He reached out a hand, letting the Nihilego slowly and gently clasp it with one of their own feelers. He could feel them push a bit of Aura down his arm, communicating worry, apologies and a slight bit of happiness that he was okay. 

He grinned, laughing slightly as he led them slower, letting a hand fall to their gelatinous body. 

"I'm glad you're okay."


	2. Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all agreed, shuffling off without so much as a goodbye.   
>  They needed to recoup.

**Torracat**

Ash didn't seem any different than Torracat remembered. He was loud, he was excitable, he loved giving her pats and belly rubs.

Ash was Ash….and yet.

Her eyes lingered on the barely fading bruises on his arms, and the red marks across his neck. Torracat couldn't help but notice his still hollowed-out cheeks and dark rimmed eyes. He looked like he would croak over and die if someone coughed towards his direction.

And the thought scared her.

She was young, younger than she'd like to admit at times, and already lost her Makuakane not a few months prior. She couldn't afford...No- she didn't want to lose one of her best friends too.

Ash didn't seem like he knew he could die anytime soon, and instead opted to give her the same amount of love and pats like she was a Litten again, vying and desperate for attention without wanting to seem like she craved the positivity.

And she soaked it all in.

Realistically, Torracat knew her friend wouldn't die. He was Ash, the moron that cared for her in her darkest hours. No one else seemed particularly concerned over his condition anymore.

Ash was awake and moving…

But…

Her eyes glanced over to the foreign Pikachu that she had come to know as a close friend. The mouse never seemed keen on getting closer to their trainer ever since that day.

And it was draining to watch.

Ash always got this somber look on his face whenever Pikachu sent him a wave, refusing to step an inch more. It was confusing.

Did Pikachu still think that Ash was the monster they fought? Did the mouse still associate the fusion to just Ash alone?

It seemed ridiculous, Pikachu wasn't afraid of Nihilego, so why was he afraid of Ash?

Was it his voice that reminded him of the fusion? Was it because it was his face? Was it because the fusion literally smacked him away after a volt tackle?

The thought confused her more so than anything.

Torracat tensed slightly, glancing over as Ash shifted in his sleep. Looking like the moron she knew he always was. She couldn't ever imagine Ash as a bad person, she couldn't ever imagine how Pikachu could associate Ash with that fusion thing. In her eyes, they were entirely different people…

It didn't help that Pikachu said it wasn't a problem. He denied how he saw Ash.

"It's a different thing Torracat. Maybe you'll understand one day." And Pikachu would lumber off, tail dragging behind him like he didn't have the strength to lift it.

She hated that. Pikachu had always talked to her as an equal, and to be talked down to, like she was some kit, was infuriating!

"He just wants everything to go back to normal." She called out after him, waiting for the mouse to freeze.

Maybe he'd cry, and realize how much of a jerk he was being.

But Pikachu continued his slow pace that eerily reminded her of how her Makuakane used to walk before he passed. Not bothering to look at her, he swished his tail to the side, hooking the edges of the door as he slowly dragged it closed.

"Don't we all." His voice rang in her ears, a haunting somber tone that didn't fit well to the cookie cutter of Pikachu.

She laid in silence, the gentle glow of moon outside alighting everything in the room.

Torracat laid back down, curling her body so her nose was pressed against Ash's side.

She tried her hardest to focus on the sounds of snoring from her friends, and not the beeping of the weird computer that seemed to grow louder and louder.

  
  


**Lycanroc:**

Lycanroc couldn't really figure out what was wrong with Ash. He smelled the same, he acted the same and he played just the same.

Ash was Ash and no one could tell him otherwise.

But he watched as Pikachu kept his distance. Standing by the door like their trainer didn't want to see him.

Which was a lie, Ash was always so happy to see them all! He smelled of happiness whenever he saw them.

Now Lycanroc was conflicted, he never understood why they had to fight, but he knew they had too. It was why they were all safe now. In the human center.

Torracat called it a hospital, but Lycanroc liked the Human Center much better.

The Nihilego seemed okay too, and Lycanroc could understand him about as well as he could understand Poipole. Which was great! Cause he was starting to get what Poipole was saying each day. They had a rough start to the beginning, but now that Nihilego seemed a-okay to him.

Maybe that's why Lycanroc could never understand why the other humans would skitter away from their new friend. Ash said he was okay, so he must be okay, right? Ash wouldn't ever lie to them.

Maybe that's why Pikachu wasn't talking to Ash, cause he thought Ash was lying.

Or maybe he thought Ash was trying to replace him with Nihilego.

That was silly, Pikachu could never be replaced. He was small, tiny and yellow, and Lycanroc didn't know many small tiny and yellow pokemon but Nihilego sure as heck didn't fit the bill of tiny pokemon.

Or yellow. Nihilego was blue and blue wasn't close to yellow at all!

But still…

Another smell of Sadness hit him pretty hard, and he watched as Ash slowly dipped in his bed. He was smiling, which always confused Lycanroc. Ash had been upset before, but Lycanroc had never seen him be happy and sad at the same time. How could you be happy when you smelled sad?

Lycanroc looked around, trying to see what it was.

Then he caught Pikachu crawling on the edge of the bed, a pile of papers scrunched in a folder and gently placed on the bed.

He watched as Ash reached out.

"Pikachu-" The mouse didn't even look.

Just turned around and hopped off.

He didn't run like he was afraid, he didn't smell scared.

Pikachu smelled guilty.

The more Lycanroc thought about the situation, the more his head hurt. Why was he guilty? Cause he fought Ash? But so had they, so he was just a dumb mouse.

Lycanroc chuffed slightly, whining and earning a laugh from Ash.

Amidst tiny scratches beneath his chin. He hummed.

Pikachu was a very stupid mouse.

  
  


**Rowlet:**

Ash was finally getting out of bed and moving around. It was something that delighted Rowlet.

His trainer was too weak to carry him still, but that was okay, cause now it was his turn to carry his trainer.

He watched carefully as Ash slowly trailed the floor, his knees buckling before he nearly fell.

Lycanroc dashed in front of him and Torracat pounced forward.

But Rowlet grabbed his dress and lifted him a little higher.

He cooed, crooning in praise when Ash thanked him in his first language.

He didn't bother to think that Ash shouldn't have been light enough for him to carry, he had never been that light before.

Ash wouldn't let him sit on his shoulders when he sat down. Rowlet understood though.

He was waiting for Pikachu, but Rowlet forgot easily and always tried to sit.

Ash didn't mind, he smiled at him and said not yet. He'd hug him close like he used to with Pikachu. He was a good bird, Ash said so!

Lycanroc was a good Puppy, Torracat was a good kitty, Poipole was a good Poipole, Nihilego was a good Nihilego, and Pikachu was a good friend.

That's what Ash said.

That's what Ash said…

But the more he watched, the more he realized that Pikachu was not a good friend. Rowlet didn't know what was wrong, and when he asked Torracat or Lycanroc he got shrugs. Poipole and Nihilego were too hard to understand.

Ash always said the same thing.

"Pikachu is a good friend." but he wasn't, his Makuahine had always said friends didnt turn their back on you.

So if Pikachu was doing this. Then he wasn't a friend at all right?

Yeah...Pikachu wasn't a good friend

  
  


**Poipole and Nihilego:**

Poipole watched everyone interact from a distance. Her trainer and friends easily falling into step.

Except the electric one.

Her favorite personally. She loved the sparks he gave off, so bright and comforting.

But now he wouldn't even look at her, wouldn't give her the time of day. He'd turn and barrel out the room the moment he finished what he needed to do.

She was frustrated, he wasn't happy at all and she knew it. Poipole wasn't used to this, the Electric one was always so delighted, so happy to be with them. And now he couldn't look any of them in the eye.

None of the others seemed to realize that, The grass, the fire and the rock seemed to think he was only avoiding their trainer, but nope, he was avoiding them all.

And there was one beast who knew what was wrong, she would bet her paint on it.

She glided easily as everyone slept. Heading towards the beast that liked to sit at the windows and mope. They were weird too, she decided, but at the least she knew they could give her answers.

Poipole sat at the window, tail curled around her legs as she waited for the beast to look at her.

And look they did.

All three eyes darted to her, different colors tracing her body before they relaxed.

An odd thing they were, to be so different from the rest of the Nihilego species they were a part of.

"What did you do to the Electric one?" She wasn't here to cut corners, she wanted answers.

They snorted. An odd sound for something without a mouth.

"I did absolutely nothing." Their voice flowed oddly in the air, she was intimately reminded of how her trainer sounded, but...older. "The… Electric one?-The Pikachu really- is doing this to himself."

"But you made him do it!" She insisted, floating forward to them. "You made us do things!"

The Nihilego looked at her, tired and amused.

"I made you do nothing, I didn't even make Ash do anything… we bled into each other…" They paused, and leaned back. "You did this to yourselves, me and Ash were just… we just pushed you, ya know?"

They pulled away from the window, towards their beast ball resting on the counter just beside the bed.

"For once, stop thinking on what is wrong with him and start thinking of what's going on. You're a smart Beast, think about it." Except she didn't want to, everything they said didn't make sense to her.

She huffed, frustrated and annoyed.

"You sound like the others." She puffed angrily, sticking her tongue out.

They laughed, turning back with a gleam in their eyes.

"Fusion does things to you." she heard a click, and eventually they were back in they're pokeball. The room one Beast less.

Nothing really made sense to her anymore.

  
  


**Class:**

Lana gingerly peaked around the door, her limbs quaking quietly. Only with a gentle push from her mother, did she walk in, greeting the rest of her classmates with subdued enthusiasm.

Their parents were there as well, looking on in parental concern, and talking quietly amongst themselves. Not that it mattered to her, she had her friends to be with.

Almost as quickly as she stepped forward, Mallow wrapped her arms around her, burying her face into the crook of Lana's neck. Her green haired friend was shaking, but no tears fell.

She quietly wrapped her arms around Mallow's neck, clinging to her with equal fever. Kiawe placed a hand on her arm as Sophocles very tiredly bumped into them.

Lillie wasn't here yet it seemed.

Lana wasn't sure how to think about where they were. In the waiting room of the hospital, the smell of antiseptic is strong in her nose, and the quiet sounds of doctors shuffling around.

Very gingerly she looked up, peaking at the door she knew their friend was behind. Pikachu was sitting by the door, looking tired, exhausted and downright skittish. Not that Lana could blame him, it must have been tough for the pokemon.

Mallow tugged, pulling away from her and prompting Lana to let go. Instantly she felt more uneasy, reaching over to tug at the hand of her friend to at least keep her close.

Mallow didn't let go of her hand.

"Ash has been awake for about a week." Kiawe murmured softly, eyes glazing over as he glanced at the door. "The Professor said he'd be fine, still bruised but he'd be out by the end of this week or the beginning of next."

They all froze, bodies tensing at the implications.

The doors opened behind them, looking over they watched Lillie stumble in, looking as harrowed and exhausted as Lana felt. Gladion was right behind her, looking equal parts furious and concerned.

When the blonde looked up, she looked a small bit relieved, rushing over to them with open arms. Dragging them into a hug, she buried her head low, a small sob escaping her lips, no louder than the people talking around them.

Lana was ashamed to admit that it felt like they were whole now.

She ignored the empty space between Sophocles and Kiawe.

"So Gladion is here." Mallow pulled back a bit to smile at Lillie. "I'm sure he'd enjoy the company."

Lillie's eyes stayed trained to the floor, not bothering to look at any of them.

"Gladion won't see him." She whispered, before finally looking at them with tear filled eyes. "He says that ' _I don't want to see a repeat of Mother, especially with that thing still here.'_ "

She looked back, prompting them all to peak over to see Gladion standing awkwardly by their mother, both Faba and Wicke by their side.

"I don't want to see him either." Sophocles whispered, voice filled with guilt. "I don't think I can look at him the same anymore."

They all looked away, Lana feeling the guilt churn in her stomach and the flush of shame crawl down her back.

She tried remembering her friend the way he was when they first met.

Excited, easy to please, super loud, super caring of his pokemon.

That's all he cared about.

His pokemon, right?

He loved his friend he loved-

_**"Oh how childishly naive-"** _

Lana screwed her eyes shut. The images of Ash staring at them with dark blank eyes filled her head. The way he so easily fought Tapu Koko without a thought. The way he fought his pokemon-

Did Ash really love them? Any of them?

She was reminded of Pikachu, so ready to fight without a thought.

His best friend… his best friend who sat outside the door refusing to see him.

If Pikachu didn't think he could see him, what made them any different?

They heard the adults quiet down, forcing Lana to really focus on everything around her.

The doctor had come by, and opened the door to Ash's room.

She couldn't see him from the opening, couldn't even hear him really, but the thought of seeing him had her frozen in place.

Kiawe walked in first, shoulders tense, and so much like the strict no play Kiawe he was before.

Mallow followed in, then Sophocles, then her, then Lillie.

Torracat was laying on his lap, meowing easily, with Lycanroc excitedly greeting them with happy yips.

Ash's smile was soft and-

_He was throwing those weird blue balls he called aura spheres, the pokemon were dodging, but he was aiming for Tapu Koko and-_

Lana jerked away, looking at the floor and breathing heavily through her nose. She couldn't leave, not yet.

"Neh- it's getting pretty late." Ash's voice was soft, but it was driving her crazy. "You all should head out, get some sleep okay?"

And just as quickly as they had come they were out. The doctors ushered them away with confused notes and small murmurs.

Lana didn't care, she was out of that room, she wasn't suffocating in guilt and fear anymore.

"I want to go home." She whispered.

She wanted to go home.

Sophocles gripped onto her shirt, nodding in unease.

"Lets go to my place." Lillie smiled, trying to ignore her shaky lips. "I'm sure Hobbes wouldn't mind us watching a movie."

They all agreed, shuffling off without so much as a goodbye.

They needed to recoup.

  
  


**Pikachu**

He watched as the students shuffled out of the hospital, their parents dotting over them from behind.

All of them were so lost- so confused compared to Pikachu. Cause Pikachu understood, Pikachu knew what they were feeling, but he couldn't fathom their actions.

The Professor appeared before him, entering the room and talking to Ash.

He could pick up a few words, but opted not to care. It wasn't fair to listen in if he wasn't inside. Instead, Pikachu laid on the floor, watching tiredly as the doctors roamed around back and forth. Back and forth.

Arceus… how long has it been since they were in a hospital? A human hospital and not the Pokecenter with the nurse and Doctor Joys. Is this how Ash felt every time he was hurt and injured?

He huffed, shifting when Burnet paced outside the door. Kukui came not long after, and they both tiredly slumped into their respective seats, limbs tangled around each other as they fell into a restless sleep.

Pikachu lifted himself off the floor, stretching before pawing his way into the room. Doctors be damned cause Pikachu knew what he was doing.

The other pokemon were sleeping, probably tired from staying up all night watching Ash.

Speaking of Ash…

His trainer sat up, staring outside the window as Pikachu scrambled up to the bed. Hissing slightly when he bumped the blasting frame a bit too hard.

"Neh Pikachu, you oughta be more careful."

" _Says the Spearow to the Pidgey._ " Pikachu snorted, shifting his place on the bed.

He glanced at his trainer and felt the guilt in his stomach settle heavily.

He was the reason for the bruises marring his face and arms, some very clearly from being possessed but-

He could make out electrical marks, dark pikachu shaped bruises on his arms from tackles and quick attacks. If Ash didn't have his shirt off, Pikachu was certain they'd see the iron tail shaped bruise on his stomach and back.

"They don't hurt." Ash shrugged at him, keeping an eye on where he was going.

" _But I made them._ " Pikachu whispered, still tracing the bruises with his eyes. " _Without a second thought."_

"You did what you had to-"

" _You never had to do that for me."_

"It's different, Pikachu."

" _It really isn't Satoshi."_

Pikachu sat there at the edge, watching as Ash struggled to not fight back.

Cause really, he knew Pikachu was right.

How often had Pikachu fallen under control of someone else? Probably too much to even count at this point.

And never, not once, had Ash resorted to violence.

And Pikachu went for it without a second thought.

He went for the throat, so to speak, to beat the possession out of Ash. It wasn't fair that he didn't even try.

He ignored the thought that Ash's possessions always had a holder. And not some blast to mess with his head.

Pikachu dipped low, hopping off the bed without a thought. And dragging his body out the door.

Ash didn't stop him, and Pikachu wished he would.

He wished his trainer wasn't so deep in self pity that he could just call out for Pikachu. He wished that he could just say his name, in the happy ' _I'm here_ ' voice he used when they dealt with tough shit.

He wished Ash could reach out, and Pikachu could jump into his arms and pretend like this never happened.

It would have been so easy if Pikachu hadn't landed him in the hospital.

Really.

It was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was finally able to decide the number of chapters for this one! so i'm happy about that! the only one i'm certain of :D
> 
> anyway feel free to leave a review, i know this one is short. 
> 
> -maiden out.


	3. Comfort me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I need their help." Pikachu closed his eyes, letting all the worry and exhaustion peak into his voice. "Please- please I don't know what else to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello thanks for reading here's a quick key list!
> 
> Nyarth - Meowth  
> Musashi - Jessie  
> Kojijro - James  
> Gomen Nasai - Semi-Formal way of saying I'm sorry  
> Daijoubu Desu - Semi formal way of accepting an apology (When you want to really push the fact that it was a serious apology)   
> Doumo arigatou - Semi-formal thank you  
> Oitsuku - Catching up with someone

It was midnight when Pikachu left the house by the beach. Paws digging into granulated sand, kicking up dirt behind him as he sprinted towards the forest. Small harsh breaths echoing his tiny frame as he dragged his body through slippery sand and onto solid dirt.

His body felt rough, every bone in his body aching and begging for a rest. Pikachu ignored it, egging and pushing his body more and more as he dived in the under roots of the forest. It felt like he was trying to run away from problems that would forever cling to the roots in his fur.

And in a way, he truly knew that, that was the case.

Ever since the fusion, it felt like their entire world was crashing around Pikachu, and the mouse knew that in a way- it was partly his fault. Not everything- Pikachu wasn’t a guilt ridden moron to that extent, but he knew he had a paw and tail that helped it all transpire.

They had only been home for about a week and the entire thing was maddening. Everything in his head ran more and more as he pumped his limbs harder, ignoring the roots and little knots of grass that intertwined with each other.

It had technically only been a week, but in Pikachu’s mind it had truly started the day Ash was possessed. That’s when everything started, but it had only truly started getting worse the moment they arrived home.

He couldn't blame the professors for wanting to keep Ash as safe as they could, he couldn't blame his teammates for being a bit more snappy with him. He couldn’t even blame Ash for respecting Pikachu’s wishes even if all the mouse wanted was Ash to not listen to him this one mew-damned time!

He could, however, blame the students so much at the moment.

The Alolan group were still scared, still frightened by their experience, that they still opted to avoid Ash whenever they could. They tried doing it subtly at first, shifting their desks an inch or two away from Ash's own, avoiding talking to each other so Ash couldn't jump in on the conversation. Even going as far as to go straight home instead of hanging out like they used to.

And now they were doing it without a thought, without a care to Ash's well being-

They stopped talking when he entered the room, they wouldn't answer him when he asked a question or when he said hello. As a group, they just seemed to pretend Ash wasn't there.

But they still talked to Pikachu and to the other Pokemon. They didn't leave them out, but that was some Tauros Shit in Pikachu's eyes.

It was more than **just** Tauros Shit, it was utter fucking _**stupidity.**_

So to make them feel the same amount of pain, Pikachu ignored them. He ignored them all and stepped away whenever they tried to talk to him. He didn’t want to look at them if they were treating _**HIS**_ Satoshi like that.

He opted to stay close to his trainer, staying just on the other side of Ash's desk, chittering loudly so Ash knew not to swing his legs. Not that Ash did much leg swinging anymore- he wasn't happy about school.

In fact, Ash wasn't happy about anything.

No one noticed. Of course they didnt, everyone was so consumed with their own dumb fears that they didn’t see the longing look Ash had when he knew everyone wasn’t looking.

Ash still smiled, he still laughed, but his heart wasn't into it. Ash was the world's greatest performer and no one would ever know because he was just that good.

That didn't mean Pikachu couldn't tell, but Pikachu couldn't claim it out loud cause no one would understand or believe him. Maybe the pokemon saw, but just like their trainers they seemed keen to just look away, pretend nothing ever happened, whereas Pikachu’s teammates probably didn't fully understand why Ash was acting like it.

The way Ash's hand dipped after saying Hello, the way his 'Alola!' got too chipper in the mornings and never directed at anyone. The faraway look he got in his eyes when no one but Pikachu was watching. He didnt raise his voice, he didnt look up, he didnt raise a fucking hand. Ash couldn’t move too fast, he couldn’t walk with anyone- it was getting to the point where the students from the other classes were starting to ignore and avoid him as well!

And of course- only Pikachu saw...

Cause Ash trusted Pikachu to not tell a soul, but Pikachu was running out of options here. Even if he trusted himself to be in Ash's arms, Pikachu knew he couldn't do this alone anymore.

So he crawled into the forest, shimmying under the brushes and past trees that smelled all too familiar. He could hear the chirps and skitters of nocturnal creatures that could probably spot him from a mile away.

Who cared- Pikachu could bat them away easily.

His legs burned and Pikachu silently wished he could pause. But the thoughts of Ash, laying on their little couch futon, muffling sobs and tears by facing the back of the couch, the thought that Ash would soon take to being just as cold as he had been in Kalos, the thought that Ash would finally decide Alola wasn’t worth it.

That last one wasn’t fucking _**fair,**_ cause Ash loved- no- he **ADORED** Alola!

So Pikachu wouldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop if his limbs broke one by one, he wouldn’t stop if his tail fell off, and he sure as fuck wouldn’t stop if he died then and there. Cause Pikachu’s life, despite his actions, belonged to Ash, much like Ash claimed his life belonged to his Pokemon.

Ash was stupid and dorky and the absolute light of his life, so Pikachu was **DAMN** well sure that those stupid kids would learn their fucking lesson-

But for now...

He crawled under the brush, ignoring the scrapes of branches and leaves against his skin, popping up into an opening with a large tree resting on the opposite side of said opening. Faintly, he could see sleeping forms and pokemon all around, and he knew that Mimikyu was going to come out guns blazing if he caught wind of Pikachu being anywhere near his home.

Fuck it.

Pikachu shrugged off the leaves and dirt clinging to his fur, along with any leftover sand from his short time at the beach. He pounced into the opening in the tree, staring around and finding nothing out of the ordinary-

Odd. He could have sworn they were there.

He found the Bewear easily enough, her huge bulking form easily seen within the entrance. Crawling forward, he patted her arm, ready to dash out of the way if necessary.

Her eyes snapped open, startling Pikachu enough to get out of the way.

 _"Little one-"_ Her voice was groggy and warning. _"You have no reason to be here this late."_

He stood silent for a moment, urging his muscles slowly beginning to unwind before answering her.

 _"I'm looking for Musashi, Nyarth and Kojiro."_ He announced softly. _"I need their help."_

Their names must have startled her, because she looked at him, eyes squinting as they danced around his form.

 _"You're that Pikachu."_ Her voice stuttered in surprise, hardening for a second. _"Why are you here?"_

 _"I need their help."_ Pikachu closed his eyes, letting all the worry and exhaustion peak into his voice. _"Please- please I don't know what else to do."_

Bewear froze, eyes darting at his form once more. Pikachu couldn't tell how long she was staring, time was just running past his head right now in blurs of motion. His body was shaking and he was sure his eyes were starting to burn from the tears ready to fall. Or maybe it was just his imagination and they were already falling, everything was so goddamn numb nowadays that his body only truly processed pain now.

Silently, Bewear moved to the side, showcasing a -not so secret- door to a staircase that led up. He quickly glanced at her as she nodded, motioning with a large open paw for him to go.

 _"Do not harm them."_ She warned just as he walked past her. " _You will not like the consequences."_

 _"I know."_ He bounced up the steps quickly.

Reaching the top he was met with their futuristic version of a tree house. Maybe it was a tree dorm since it was inside the trunk of the tree- he shook his head, pouncing onto the highest and stablest thing he could reach, Kojiro's pokeball stand.

Pikachu could see their beds, two separate twin beds pushed close together without touching, their sleeping forms laying there. Nyarth seemed to take up Musashi's side this time. Resting on her pillow and pushing the pink haired woman away.

Perfect.

Pikachu pounced off the table, rushing forward and hopping onto Kojiro's bed then closer to Nyarth. Reaching over, he grasped his paw around the cats tail and pulled once- twice- an thr-

"If you touch my tails again, you're getting claws to da face James." Nyarth grumbled, eyes blearily opening to glare at nothing.

 _"Scratch me and you're getting fried Nyarth."_ Pikachu snorted, yanking his tail once more.

"Why I outta-" Nyarth rose, claws open and ready to scratch at him when he froze- eyes blinking rapidly. "Pikachu!"

 _"Alola."_ Pikachu waved mutely, ears falling.

Maybe this was a mistake- but Pikachu couldn’t bring himself to turn and run away. He was out of options and Ash needed this, he needed them this one time.

Nyarth scrambled up, unintentionally batting Musashi with his tail and earning a grunt. Not that Nyarth cared- he was staring intently at Pikachu.

"Haha! I knew you'd join us one day big ole buddy ole pal." Nyarth's grin was downright giddy.

_"Nyarth-"_

"We may not have da best paychecks but I'm sure you'll have a blast!"

_"Nyar **th-** "_

"We could get you dese nice uniforms and you'll be top cat after me of course.”

_" **Nyarth-** "_

"Oh dis will be good wait till da boss-"

_" **Nyarth, shut the fuck up for two seconds!** "_

Nyarth turned to him, ears falling back in annoyance as he pointed a single digit at him.

"Now you can't go abouts raising da ranks with dat potty mouth." Nyarth proceeded to stick his face up, proudly patting his own chest. "High rankers have class."

" _Nyarth I'd literally rather be a ball in tennis for Arceus and Mew."_ Pikachu rolled his eyes, batting Nyarth's tail to the floor. " _But I'm not here for that… it's Satoshi."_

As quickly as Nyarth had woken up, his smile fell, eyes darting to the two humans asleep before back at the electric mouse.

"Go to da table, we'll meetcha dere." His tone was questioning but he made no mistake in trying so Pikachu listened.

Pikachu walked back to the table quickly, hearing yelps of surprise as the two other humans woke up. His stomach churned in unease as he glanced at their digital clock.

1:30 in the morning.

Musashi would be mad, irritated even and Kojiro would be complacent if not secretly annoyed. Pikachu knew that, he could deal with that and more if it meant Ash would feel better.

"Pikachu- Meowth, why is Pikachu just sitting on our table." Kojiro exclaimed, almost surprised and shocked.

That's right, they used Unovian names here, to make it easier to remember to speak.

Giratina, Pikachu must have been drained to the bone to have only been referring to them by their Kantonian names. It wasn’t even a second thought, it was his home language, the language he built up with Satoshi through the years. Right down to the little-

"Pikachu- Pikachu!" Meowth's voice was getting louder, startling him out of his thoughts.

The trio looked on in annoyance, but Pikachu knew in his heart that they were concerned for his lack of focus.

They were nice like that.

But now how to start? How to fall into that Satoshi needed help, that he needed human help that people weren’t providing him? How could Pikachu mention a disaster that they weren’t even a part of this time??

That’s it.

" _Do you remember that Ultra Beast incident that happened a few weeks ago?"_ Pikachu blurted out.

"You mean when the twerp got taken- yes." Jessie raised an eyebrow, obviously not connecting the dots.

"When he got possessed." James corrected, turning back to Pikachu. "He was in the hospital for awhile-"

"About dat, why was da twoip in the hospital. Doesn't his lil doohickey magic usually save him from dose kinda tings?" Meowth gave him a confused look. "And what does this all have ta do wit you being here at 1 in da morning?"

" _His doohickey magic is called Aura you moron._ " Pikachu snarked back halfheartedly. " _And…_ "

Like everything just caught up to him, Pikachu choked. The beginnings of a sob building into his throat and preventing him from saying much more. Tears sprung once more to his eyes and Pikachu was so tired of feeling this way because he wasn’t concerned about himself.

His body needed to stop because they needed to help Satoshi!

They stood quiet, looking at him as Pikachu struggled to let out so much as a small squeak.

" _They… they've been ignoring him._ " He whispered, ears falling as he fiddled with his paws. " _I… I can't help, I can't do this alone I-._ "

"James put on some clothes, lets go." Jessie rushed out, James following her every step of the way.

They went past him, footsteps thumping as the sounds of other groggy pokemon finally awoke. He could faintly hear Mimikyu cry in indignation, but that was about it. Pikachu had always had those moments of feeling so lost and confused in a room full of understanding people, but that didn’t make the feeling any easier to handle.

"Pikachu-" Pikachu glanced at Meowth, eyes wide as the cat nodded his head. "Tings will get bettah soon- okay?"

And that did it.

Pikachu bursts into tears, wiping his paws furiously on his face as Meowth left him alone.

Giratina, those idiots were too kind for their own good. They knew, they knew everything from the start didn't they? They looked at Pikachu with understanding and not hate or malice. They looked at him like Satoshi looked at him. They didn't care that he couldn't help Satoshi, they just knew.

He felt so tired, down to the bones in his tiny little paws.

Pikachu ignored their tiny creaks and silent yells as they tried their hardest to leave without a sound, exiting the tree noisily as Pikachu hopped onto Koji-James' bed.

That was difficult, Pikachu had always been used to jumping while crying- how else did he always know where Satoshi was when things took a tough turn. But this time there was no Satoshi, and Pikachu didn’t want to ever think that there may be a chance that there would one day be no Satoshi.

He curled up, forming a tiny nest in the blankets and waited as the noise died down to tiny creaks and caws of pokemon.

He wanted to sleep- he wanted to sleep so bad. He wanted to ignore the heavy dragging of his body, wanted to ignore the sparks in his cheeks that were starting to burn- Pikachu wanted to ignore the beating of his own heartbeat that was thrumming in the back of his head. He was done. Pikachu was done.

He was selfish; he knew Satoshi felt worse.

Pikachu laid his head onto the crook of his arm and cried.

\----

Ash muttered angrily, trying his hardest not to bump into anything.

Rotom was charging a little too close to the rails this time, and they would throw a fit if Ash so much as made a sound. They were especially snippy with him after his ‘extended charging time’ and ‘You are human not a drained battery.’ Ash didn’t understand Rotom’s tangents, so avoiding them would be best.

He crawled down the ladder with awkward movements, out into the open floor and continued his way to the fridge.

Ever since Ash had left the hospital, he had been having a much easier time walking around without help since he was out of the hospital. The amount of Aura in the air was no longer muddled with the scents of antiseptic making it far easier to find and consume.

Opening the fridge, Ash got out a small water and drank slowly, the cold liquid jolting any bit of exhaustion out of him. Numbly, he wiped his lips and glanced back up at the loft, where his pokemon were at.

Well all but Pikachu- but Ash trusted his starter to be back before morning. Pikachu needed this, he needed to clear his head without the pressure of the other pokemon and Ash.

It made him miss the familiar weight, now gone, from his shoulder.

His other pokemon were really snug in his small couch, opting to try and smother him to make him feel better. Which he appreciated- really he did- it was nice to know that you were wanted. His pokemon were loving and thoughtful and maybe a bit too much at the moment. Not that Ash cared, he loved smothering them with love and affection as well.

A frown instantly touched his face, the ache in his chest he opted to forget was coming back full force.

He hadn't seen any of his friends since he woke up. Occasional glimpses of them when they came to visit but that's it.

At first he had assumed it was cause Nihilego was in the room, but it became really clear to him that nope, it was Ash. It was a struggle, and Ash could deal with it- after all he had faced those looks before from the few times he was possessed.

But he had no one in his corner this time round, no human anyway.

Of course Ash had Kukui and Burnet, and he was grateful. But in the end, they were adults with jobs, too busy to focus on Ash and still going through several jumps and loops after that whole ordeal. He needed someone like Brock at his side but-

Oh well, he could handle this.

Ash rounded the kitchen, plopping onto the couch and very gingerly turning on the TV, finger smashing the volume button to make sure it was as low as possible.

He flipped through channels, trying his hardest to remember what the International channels were on. Maybe a good old fashion series of the Clefairy Tails were on reruns- or Giratina the part timer-

Oh well.

Ash tossed the remote to the side, leaving it on old reruns of some preschool esque television from Unova.

As he watched a family of brightly colored Spoinks talk on screen his mind began to wander in the dark corners of his mind. The parts of himself he didn't like thinking about- the parts he was still trying to address.

The hum of the television slowly faded to nothing but a muffled slew of words. He leaned his head back, breathing slowly and closing his eyes.

Ash’s mind was a Carnavine trap in the flesh, clinging to every moment that screamed wrong- images upon images playing in his head of his friends flinching. Reminders that now, he couldn't even raise his hands in the traditional 'Alola!' saying without one of them looking down and away. He couldn't raise his voice above a certain level, he couldn't get frustrated, he couldn't even laugh without one of them looking like they were ready to choke. Ash had had his fair share of people running from him or flinching- sometimes it was genuinely his fault, other times it just happened.

But not once, not ever, had it lasted as long as it had this time round.

By all means, it had been 3 weeks. Three mew-damned weeks of him being ignored, brushed to the side and downright left behind. It was starting to get to Ash's head, to the point he had left to the bathroom in the middle of class to dry heave.

Ash didn't think he was sensitive, he didn't think it’d ever get to this point, but thinking of going to school on Monday made him want to throw up. It had been so long since he felt like this, felt like the world was against him.

No- no that wasn't true- he had felt this in Kalos too, but this time, this time it felt he had no support. It felt like the first time he drowned to death, except he kept being revived again and again underwater to drown again and again. He wanted to breathe, he wanted to grab their hands and tell them that he needed the air, that he couldn’t take the saltwater in his lungs anymore.

Ash breathed in a sharp breath, letting it out shakily as he tried to reign his emotions in. Gingerly he wiped his hand across his face.

No tears. That was good he couldn’t cry- he shouldn’t be crying over something so dumb.

Pikachu was there, that was what mattered. His pokemon was there, that was what mattered.

He didn't care that Pikachu didn't have the courage to hold onto Ash just yet, Pikachu still believed in Ash and that was all that-

"Kyu-"

Ash jolted, the sound of a new pokemon nearly startling him back to some deluded reality.

His face was warm, cheeks flushed pink as his eyes burned at the unshed tears. Ash glanced towards the window, where a lone Mimikyu eerily tapped on the window.

"Mi-" The ghost tapped the window easily slipping through the crack and began walking across the room.

He watched as Mimikyu clicked the door open, swinging it quietly as two people and two more pokemon crawled in. If Ash was more aware of reality, he really should have called for his pokemon.

Instead, he stood up following Mimikyu to the group.

"Alright, grab the twerp and book it." Ash's ears twitched, and he tilted his head.

As soon as they came into view, they froze, staring at him with wide eyes.

Meowth walked up, glancing at Ash and then his partners.

"Get him guys!" Meowth whispered yell, and like a spring the duo dived at him, grabbing his arms and legs and dragging him closer.

Ash would have fought, he would have fought tooth and nail normally. He should have, this may be considered kidnapping.

But he was just too drained to really care.

That and he may have been a tad bit confused.

Yeah, he'd stick with that.

Soon enough, he was curled up tightly in Jessie's arms, bundled in a warm blanket as Mimikyu rested on his stomach. Loudly, ‘ _claiming that Pikachu’s spot!_ ’ whatever that meant.

"You're too Mew-damned light." Jessie hissed at him, scrunching her arms tightly around his form.

"Feed me and we'll see what you say after." Ash snarked back, scrunching his nose when she humphed.

James laughed off to the side.

It didn't take long for them to get to the Rocket HQ, a cozily futuristic sort of room that just screamed of Meowth's doing.

Pikachu was laying on one of the beds, blearily blinking as they turned on the lights. The mouse had been crying, Ash sure as hell could tell. If it had been any other situation, Ash would have thrown a fit but-

"Just a midnight walk huh?" Ash raised a brow, and Pikachu smiled.

He smiled!

 _"May have gotten lost along the way."_ Pikachu grinned shifting to the side, both opting to ignore the thickness of his voice.

Jessie plopped him on the bed, right next to Pikachu and still wrapped in his burrito blanket. When he tried to wiggle free, James tsked at him and gave him a look.

 _"They're a lot meaner when they're trying to be nice._ " Pikachu hummed, watching James turn on the stove as Jessie came around the corner with a mortar and pestle.

Pikachu moved closer, sitting at his side and facing Ash. Which was big progress in Ash’s eyes, especially since he could finally see the individual strands of fur in Pikachu’s coat.

"That's cause you bozos don't seem tah understand dat we want to steal pokemon and dat's it." Meowth crawled onto the bed, sitting at Ash's side with a raised brow. "Now what's wit da space between yous twos."

Pikachu's ears fell and he glanced away, and Ash was almost ready to glare at Meowth if the cat didn't just bat the look away.

Instead, Meowth walked over his lap and gripped Pikachu by his side, pushing him onto Ash's lap before walking away, ignoring the way Pikachu froze and stared wide eyed at Ash.

"Dere ya go!" Meowth grinned, hopping onto the floor, shaping his fingers into a frame. "Picture perfect, now ya both look complete!"

There was a moment of silence as Pikachu stared at Ash, eyes tracing his face for any form of anger.

"Oh come on, Pikachu," They both turned to look at Meowth who scoffed at them. "You can't have one without da other, the two of yous are a perfect match!"

And with that the cat walked off, loudly claiming something or other to James.

"As much as I hate to admit it, he's right you know." They turned to Jessie, who was still smashing something in her mortar. "The two of you just aren't right without the other."

She paused, then huffed.

"But what do I care, Twerp, take off that blanket, Pikachu make sure he does it." She then went off, mumbling something about twerps and berries.

Both he and Pikachu stayed quiet for a second, but to Ash's delight, he noticed that Pikachu still wasn't getting off his lap.

" _Neh, Satoshi?_ " Pikachu murmured from his spot, gingerly dipping his head.

"Yeah, Pikachu?" He glanced down, enjoying the familiar warmth of Pikachu's electricity bouncing off his body.

 _"I’m...mm Gomen Nasai, Satoshi."_ Pikachu whispered, finally butting his head into Ash's still covered stomach. _"G-Gomen Nasai."_

"Daijoubu Desu." Ash murmured back, fighting to get his arm out of his blanket prison to pet his partner.

Familiar warm fur brushed beneath his fingers, easing away some worries and lightening the weight on his shoulders. He had to choke back the thick feeling in his throat, enjoying the way his partner butted and nudged his hand, obviously craving the warmth as well. It was definitely more comforting than the few pats he had given his starter In the past three weeks.

"Is that blanket off?" Jessie nearly yelled, startling them to take off the blanket as fast as they could.

Pikachu scrambled onto his shoulder, pressing his face against Ash's neck. Warm comforting it just felt…

Right.

Jessie rounded the corner, giving the duo looks as they innocently blinked at her.

She lifted the pestle angrily, waving at them with a squint in her eyes.

"I don't know how the rock twerp dealt with you for years." Jessie then waved at Ash. "Arms out tiny twerp, looks like those doctors used standard bruising cream, guess they didn't figure out why you weren't healing."

"They kept me in a room, there was no fresh air!" Ash complained, sticking his arms out. "They were trying to kill me in that room. And why am I, tiny twerp? Why aren't I like, first twerp or something?"

"Cause you're small and have been that way Forever." James chimed almost gleefully as he came by with two bowls of soup. "Now let Jessie do her thing or you wont eat."

 _"They're trying to kill us here too."_ Pikachu whispered.

"The horror." Ash grinned, hissing as cold berry mush hit his nearly fading bruises.

"I'm assuming Pikachu said something not so nice." James huffed out a laugh as Jessie grumbled.

As Jessie calmly pressed berry mush against his arms and -unfortunately- his throat, he began chatting easily with James, and occasionally Jessie when she was in a favorable mood to chime in. Meowth seemed content to lay on his side with Pikachu, both of them having an entirely separate conversation than the humans.

James seemed content to just mention old stories, and ask about things he had been dying to know, careful to avoid certain points. Ash wished at that moment that James could instead gain the memory of a Pidove.

"So Unova-"

"I wasn't really trying…"

"No I know that- Pikachu has taken on tougher opponents but- were you really friends with that Lucario's trainer?"

"It was… I mean… yeah I guess?"

"That is what I will judge you one from here to forever-"

"Wha- JAMES NO!"

They had been amicable before, Ash could recall plenty of times they had been nice to him.

But this? This they did sparingly and it was usually after a legendary event.

Still- he was surprised to be curled up in both Jessie and James' arm as they dimmed the lights, Meowth curled up on his head and Pikachu on his stomach as he stared vacantly at the ceiling.

It was probably 4 in the morning, and he couldn't sleep just yet.

He was still curious.

"Hey Jessie- James?" He was awarded two very soft, nearly muffled, hmm? "Why are you guys helping me this time?"

It was simple, and maybe it wouldn't hurt to just be reassured.

"We had been ready to get you the moment you walked out of the hospital." Jessie yawned, trying to bite back the noise.

"But we decided things could change pretty fast so we let it happen unless you asked us." James continued, throwing an arm over his face.

"When we heard what had happened, we couldn't just leaves you twos alone. So we kept some eyes on you." Meowth batted at his hair.

 _"So when I came-"_ Pikachu started slowly, glancing away.

"You were da catalyst that really pushed it open. You twos just seemed so sad." Meowth shrugged, trying to avoid his voice from falling to somber.

"It kind of reminded us how we used to act." Jessie continued, turning to face the ceiling.

'We couldn't just leave you two alone really, we're bad guys, not bad guys." James chuckled.

Ash blinked, trying to avoid sobbing in relief.

They had known- they had known the whole time what had happened. And with James and Meowth they probably got everything they didn't know from Aether's database.

And it was a relief. If the rockets had seen all that, and still treated Ash the same, it meant that Ash wasn’t the monster. He wasn’t the terror he had been so well inclined to believe.

"Come on twerp." Jessie batted at his arms, "You know it's not healthy to keep all this in."

"Satoshi- "James started, throwing an arm loosely around his shoulder. "It'll get better soon enough, but for now we're with you."

"And ya ain't getting rid of us that easy either." Meowth chirped.

And with that, Ash cried.

Ash cried until his throat hurt, ears burning and cheeks flushing red. Tears flowed down until he could do nothing more than let out choked sobs.

"I don't understand why they don't want me anymore." Ash blubbered. "I just- I just want to stay here and be friends. I don't want to go home like this."

Jessie and James sat him up, passing tissues like they had rehearsed this time and time again.

They switched roles constantly, being stern and loving all in one and he was slightly reminded of Brock.

Mew, he wanted his honorary brother here so goddamn bad.

They laid him back gently when he was all worn out, years and years of tension and fear falling out all at once. Ash was certain he had blubbered things he had only told Brock before- honestly he couldn't be bothered to fucking care.

Thru curled around him much tighter this time, Jessie rubbing his back almost robotically, as James calmly leaned onto him. A familiar weight that wasn't exactly there before.

"You know you can stay here right?" James murmured. "However long you want?"

"Until Monday? Maybe late Monday?" Ash murmured, squeezing Pikachu tight in his arms.

"Of course." Jessie laughed. "We'll get your pokemon tomorrow."

"Cool." _"Nice."_ Ash's eyes drooped close, heavy eyelids and burning cheeks finally letting him sleep easily.

\---

Next morning turned out to be late afternoon, Mimikyu growled at Pikachu- who was also barely waking up.

 _"Just one move, one of your tiny cute little paws out of line and I’ll blast you to the reverse world and back."_ Mimikyu hissed, the sound registering oddly in Ash's ears.

"Ah the sleeping beauty is up!" Meowth walked on by, grinning ear to ear as he held two honey Malasadas.

"How long were we out?" Ash murmured, groggily and blankly reaching out for the Alolan pastries.

"It's roughly 3 in dah afternoon-" Meowth pulled back teasingly before handing it to Ash and Pikachu. "James wants to make traditional ramen today."

"Can we help make the noodles?'

_"Please?"_

Meowth grinned, motioning to the prepped station ready for a noodle disaster in the making.

"We got everyting ready- Bewear is getting your pokemon as we speak so dah Ramen should be done by the time we get back." He then put on a tiny apron and handed them to frilly aprons. "Get ready for disasters."

They took them with smiles.

Two hours later had produced decent traditional noodles. Usually Ash was much faster at this. He was good at the non cookey stuff and he could read Kantonian recipes much better than Unovian recipes. Still, that didnt mean he didn't screw up- and Meowth had used too much water in the first batch so it was all his fault.

Once they were done- and properly cleaned cause flour was messy- did Ash reach over and gather Meowth into his arms.

"Doumo arigatou, Nyarth." He murmured, giggling as the cat began to purr in his arms.

"Don't mention it kiddo." Meowth then pushed away, giving him a jokingly hard stare. "Really, don’t."

When Jessie and James came back they were followed by the barks and squeals of pokemon rushing past their feet.

Torracat looked like she had seen a ghost, running to him at the same speed as Lycanroc. Rowlet fluttered by quickly and rested on his head, relaxing almost instantly the moment he touched familiar hair. Poipole didn't seem all too worried, just ecstatic to see her friend in good condition.

Nihilego came in slowly, worried and fumbling with their feelers. They seemed tense, cautiously looking at how easy Team Rocket interacted with them. Must have been one hell of an introduction to the bad guys.

Instead Ash silently opened his arms, his pokemon copying to the best of their abilities.

Nihilego raced over, copying his motions easily- aura pounding with love and worry.

"Neh its okay bud- we're gonna be here for a bit so it's a good time to let everyone relax." Ash smiled, and Pikachu raised a paw.

 _"Now’s a good time as any!"_ Pikachu grinned, ignoring the gobsmacked looks.

Well, a good little getaway it would be!

\----

James leered nervously at the twerps sleeping form, nodding to Jessie as he snuck out midday.

The twerp was gonna go back a little too soon for James’, and he really needed to check on a few things before Jessie got to everyone tomorrow.

He usually didn't wear his dark rocket suit, he found it too tasteless and too Gothic for himself and Jessie. They weren't the biggest fans of the black suits. But still, they both had a spare for those nightly expeditions to either help the twerp or go on recon.

This may have been neither but James wasn't going to risk his white suit for this.

He stopped at house 1- which was his Twerp's current resting place. He watched as Kukui and Burnet ran themselves ragged, eyes with heavy black marks and faces sagged in disbelief. He watched as the professor called the oldest twerp- the only one James liked other than the tiny twerp honestly, and managed to worry him as well.

Oh well, James would call him later and assure him Ash was okay.

He made himself a note to talk to Mama Twerp too.

He slipped past, rushing to the Kahuna's- his biggest threat currently. But saw the old man meditating, calling for the god of their tiny island. Not really a god in James' eyes but who cared- he preferred Ho-oh and Moltres anyway.

Now James was at a standstill- he didn't really know how to go about looking at the kids. Not yet anyway….

He opted to go to the blonde twerps house instead, she was rich and in the highty tighty neighborhood that James found to be too suffocating.

It took him far longer to get there, not that he minded, and peaked to see what he could find-

He found the entire group of students there. Score!

"Ash is missing." The blonde whispered. "I’m worried…"

And that was that, that's all James needed to hear. To know that they were worried.

Something about their tone set him off though, and he glared, pressed against the window to try and hear more.

There were soft mutters of agreement, when the round twerp spoke.

"Is...Is it bad-" He started and James just knew he was wringing his hands together. "Is it bad that I'm slightly… relieved?"

The following silence that had transpired drove a needle into his stomach and James knew- he just knew they all agreed on some level.

Damned brats.

He tried not to growl, instead opting to scare the twerps and slammed his fist into the wall. He wasn't the violent type, never had been, so he brought out his inner Jessie.

The kids shrieked as one and he dashed off, not intending to reprimand them this quickly. By the time he made it back to the HQ, he was well out of breath.

Jessie gave him a look and he shook his head. NOW she was pissed.

James knew in his heart that Jessie adored the twerp, she adored messing with him and having snarky insults thrown back and forth. To have supposed friends bring her twerp down wasn't gonna end pretty.

If James was fair, he didn't like it either. They had messed with the twerp for so long that he had become so much more than just that- pesky twerp. Ash was their twerp, and a bunch of scared kiddos wasn't going to bring him down that way.

Meowth probably already knew, Meowth was smart like that. But then his friend wouldn't even bother to try- sure he was sneaky, but he had a habit of running his mouth when things ticked him off.

Oh well, Jessie would make up for it tenfold.

"Hey James, can you help me polish the pokeballs, the new Beast ball is tricky for me and I haven't got a grip on it yet." Ash twisted on the bed, apparently awake with a cloth and several pokeballs in hand.

James melted slightly. As annoying as the twerp could be, sometimes he knew far more than people gave him credit for. So James straightened up and walked over.

"Alright, lets see the new monstrosity of a pokeball." He held out his hand.

"What's with the dark rocket costume?"

"You remember Inkay, right?"

\----

The moment James came back with a hard look and a shake of his head, Jessie was out for blood.

Literally or metaphorically- she didn't care anymore.

She wasn't sure who it was yet, so she had to be careful, not wanting to cause any unwanted trouble after all. Besides, she wouldn't even have to leave HQ, just give some faces and names to her lovely Mimikyu and violà her entire plan was finished.

No, it wouldn't be as satisfying to Jessie. She needed that little bit of satisfaction for this.

When James awoke she gave him a look and he knew instantly.

"The group of twerps." Was all he mentioned and gave her a pat on the shoulder.

Oh James was pissed, which meant little ole Jessie could be a bit more chaotic this time round.

She wasn't going to go off as herself, as fascinating as it would have been to squash them all beneath her heel, she opted instead for a standard traveler of Kanto. Shorts, a white t-shirt with a vest thrown over her shoulders and a sweater tightly strung across her waist. She- very meticulously- strung up her hair in a way that made it seem short and took off her earrings.

A quick look in the mirror, she was almost done- so close. Almost as a finale, she put on bright cherry red lipstick.

Now- she didn't have a Kanto pokemon with her, which was probably suspicious but-

"Meowth, cat bag mode!" She hissed and Meowth came running over.

One look and he instantly knew what to do.

"I hate dis." He grumbled, but complied anyway in chilling in her purse. Too big too fit comfortably, but just barely.

"But you'll do it anyway~" She grinned, grabbing the bag and gently hoisting it around her shoulder.

And she was off!

She marched out into the plaza, feigning curiosity and speaking in broken Unovian. Personally speaking, it seemed everyone was delighted to have seen her, no one the wiser to who she was.

Good.

"Ah- I look for eh, Satoshi Ketchum?" she stopped by the shop lady, to really push the act.

Meowth meowed as best he could.

"I'm sorry dearie," The lady was kind, holding her hands together with an apologetic smile. "I don't know any Satoshi, but I do know of an Ash Ketchum?"

Jessie felt her face brighten, hoping it didn't fall way to her Sharpedo eating grin.

"Yes yes!" Jessie nodded her head furiously. "Ashu Ketchum! I find him?"

Broken Unovian was a little too easy- most of the words still didn't make sense to Jessie.

"Oh Ash Ketchum yes-" The shopkeeper clapped her hands, walking out of her stall to point at the school just a bit beyond the trees. "If you head there, I'm sure you'll find him, he and his classmates are there most of the time."

"Arigatou Gozaimasu." Jessie bowed and proceeded to run off.

She stopped by different people from then on out, people she was certain Ash had gotten to know, to make a trail of what she was doing.

In the end, she ended up at the Green Twerp's restaurant.

Already, Jessie could see the crowd of other adults and the group of kids just sitting there.

The two professors still looked panicked -good- considering how long Ash had been formally gone.

If Jessie's math was right -it usually wasn't so she'd ask James and Meowth later- Twerp number one had been gone about two and a half days at this point, with his pokemon being about two days. She wondered if they tried to take him longer- if they would just assume he went back home.

The adults all in all seemed to be trying their hardest to comfort the two professors who seemed to be on the edge of a mental breakdown.

The twerps just seemed uncomfortable.

Perfect.

She walked up, fidgeting with her bag and making it seem like she was looking for something. It was easy for her to look disgruntled, cause Jessie was disgruntled. She hated everything with her entire being at the moment. Meowth hissed, yowling slightly at the group to both indicate that they were close and that yes he was beyond pissed.

She pretended to stop and ask something to him in Kantonian.

 _"Don't scratch them."_ Was all she said.

She looked up to find the group looking at them in surprise, she pretended to mimic, instead glancing at her phone and then back the way she was walking.

"Sorry, but I’m… mm… lost?" She cringed, pulling out a phone of one of Ash's old pictures they took together. "I am looking for Ashu Ketchum?"

"Why do you need to know?" The fire twerp snapped, and if Jessie was a quitter she would have flinched.

But nope, Jessie was a performer so she ducked back in surprise.

"Kiawe!" she could only assume his mother scolded.

"Sorry, just surprising!" She tried to play it off. "I am good friends of Ashu-san. We battled plenties in Kanto. I am searching for him to… catch the ball?"

"You mean Catch up?" The blue haired twerp twisted her head.

"Ahh...Oitsuku?" She grinned sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Catch up." Professor Kukui nodded and that's all the kids needed to know.

"Then yes, I am here to "Catch up" with him." She pulled out another photo, bringing her phone closer so they could all see.

Instantly, the students looked away, their faces flushed in shame and Jessie felt internally delighted.

Good, this was a photo Ash had taken himself, a poorly done selfie of them goofing off.

"He mentions you all a lot." And Jessie grinned, maybe a little devilishly at this point. "You all are good friends, yes?"

There was silence, until the green haired twerp spoke up.

"O-of course we are." Her grin was about as fake as her concern for Ash. "Sorry but- we don't know where he is."

Jessie pouted and looked at her phone.

"Okay, if you see him, tell him Musashi is looking for him." She turned on her heel, waving as she sprinted back. "Goodbye!"

She didnt care if they waved back, falling into a harsh sprint the moment they were out of sight.

Meowth cackled in delight, crawling up her shoulders as they made it into the forest.

"Da look on their faces-"

"So guilty." Jessie finished gleefully, gliding to a stop as she breathed in and out heavily.

When they made it home, James and Ash seemed to be on some sort of card game. They were both quite obviously cheating.

"We're baaaack." Jessie grinned. "We didn't see anyone from corporate so we should be good and dandy!" She lied.

"That's good, we don't need any other rocket fellow busting on our turf." James sniffed, turning to her.

Ash quickly and sneakily switched some of his cards, quick enough to not be noticed.

"Yeah, dealing with more Rockets isn't in my agenda today." Ash hummed, fiddling with the small bounty of nanab crisps that seemed to be their currency.

"Oh yeah-" Jessie challenged, leaning on James to smugly look at him. "And what is on your Agenda?"

"Kicking James' butt in Blackjack." He answered snootily, laughing when his pokemon followed his example.

"Excuse me good sir, but i believe-" And James put down his cards, adding up to 20. "I win-"

Before James could reach over, Ash held out a hand, smugly placing his own cards down.

"And I win cause I have a 21." Ash cackled in delight, taking the chips as James freaked out over it.

"He cheated," Meowth grinned.

"He totally cheated." Jessie patted James’ shoulder.

"I was watching him the whole time there's no way he could have-" and before their eyes Ash pulled out 3 cards of the other kings from his lap, smugly placed them down as he took a tiny bite of a nanab chip.

"I totally cheated."

There was silence as James gaped in betrayal.

"You little twerp."

\----

Monday came by fast, and before Jessie, James and Meowth knew it was time for Ash to go home.

Ash didn't seem too upset, but he may have been a tad bit disheartened.

"You know you can always come back if it gets too much, right?" Jessie's eyebrows creased, as she laid a hand on Ash's shoulder.

"Anytime, I'll be sure to out-cheat you next time on Blackjack too." James added.

"And I'll be sures to have your backs to make you cheats twice as good!" Meowth grinned.

Ash glanced at them, as did the rest of his pokemon and he smiled.

"Yeah, thanks guys."

They grinned, roughing up his hair and letting him walk out without another word other than goodbye.

For sure, he'd be back to his twerpish attitude and they could throw insults like before.

Yeah, that'd be perfect.

\----

Ash approached Mallow's restaurant without a sound. He had gone home at first but a small note on the door made him change routes.

He wasn't too fond of seeing the other students yet, didn't want to damper his previously chipper mood.

But you had to grab the Tauros by the horns lest they stomp you.

Or some stupid saying that James always said.

"It's been three days, almost four." He could hear Burnet frantically saying. "Not hair nor hide of him."

"Isn't it hide or hair?" Lusamine followed almost nonchalantly.

"Lusamine-"

"Burnet I know, I'm just trying to ease the tension a bit." there was a laugh and a small thud that followed.

"Mother this is no time for jokes." And That was Gladion.

"Great, they brought the whole party." Ash sighed, Pikachu chittering along.

He stepped out the brush, keeping an eye on the fact no one noticed him. Ash thought about doing the dumb cool guy trick 'having a party without me?' but no doubt he'd get yelled at. He's still getting yelled at anyway but oh well, at least it's not for being a bigger prick than he already knew he was.

"Listen, the police are looking everywhere, they have to find him." Mallow's father sighed. "We're doing the best we can right now."

"We're on a small island and it's been four days." Kukui screwed his eyes shut. "Any longer and we'd have to think about going to the other islands and that could take weeks."

"Or a few seconds if you looked down." Ash chimed in.

Like a freight train hit a wall, they all snapped their heads. Shock coating their face.

Ash titled his head.

"Hi, sorry I'm late." He raised a hand, smiling.

"ASH!" Burnet and Kukui yelled.

Like the reckless morons they claimed not to be, both of them jumped over the banister, Kukui stumbling for a second before they tackled him into a hug. Words becoming muddled over tears and Alolan prayers.

"Mah- I'm sorry." Ash grinned sheepishly. “I… _maaaaa_ aaay have forgotten to leave a note.”

"Of course you did." Rotom flew forward, almost in his face. "My processors are gonna fry far too soon if you plan to scare us like that!"

"I'll get you new ones!"

"That's not the point Ash!"

"I'll get the big nice ones so you can worry a lot and fry them much later!"

"ASH!"

He burst into laughter, Burnet following along as she rocked their bodies. They had truly been worried, and Ash only felt the slightest bit guilty over that.

But not too much, cause he felt better now.

"Ash where have you been?" Kukui glanced at him, concerned and a bit peeved, eyes glancing over his arms for bruises.

He must have noticed that his barely fading bruises were practically nonexistent now.

"Ah, I spent some time in the forest with my pokemon." Ash glanced back at the forest line, making them all turn to stare. "I guess being in a hospital really messed with my head so a bunch of fresh air is all I needed."

Kukui sighed, bringing him closer for a hug.

"Next time, just camp on the beach."

"Heh, got it."

He didn't look at his friends, not once.

He'd save that for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! i know some things are a bit off and maybe continuity is kinda wonky but i really enjoyed writing this chapter!!
> 
> feel free to leave a comment ;)
> 
> -Maiden out.


	4. Can we Forget?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been roughly 5 days since Ash has interacted with them.
> 
> It's been almost 3 weeks since they've all collectively started ignoring Ash.

_**Ash is missing.** _

That's the only thought that travels in Kukui's mind for most of the morning.

Ash is missing and only his pokemon are here.

The thought sends chills down his spine, the sight he saw in the morning doesn't do anything to stop the churning of his gut.

The door is wide up, trickles of sand and footprints are strewn about the carpet. The sand looks like something was dragged through, like someone hastily tried to brush the sand out the door with their foot.

The TV is on low, now showing the beginnings of preschool television shows of underwater pokemon teaching lessons. Kukui rests his hand on the banister just behind the TV. He could only guess Ash was sleeping there after waking up.

He notices the window cracked open, just a tiny bit, barely big enough to sneak out of or for someone to break in. He could have sworn he closed it last night, and instead opts for the thought that Ash needed fresh air.

The thought doesn’t ease Kukui’s fears in the slightest.

He can faintly hear Burnet walk behind him, barely able to stifle a gasp as she clearly takes in what he’s been staring at for the better part of 2 minutes.

His hands are cold and the hairs on the back of his neck is clammy.

"Ash." Kukui calls out, trying to deny ever single negative thought in his head. "Ash, where are you!?"

Burnet's quick to rush past him, clambering on the ladder to the loft.

"He's not here." She's calls out, voice thick with panic.

His blood freezes and Kukui can only think of the worst.

"Neither is Pikachu." She announces and he un-tenses for a fraction of a second.

Maybe Pikachu had been taken by those rocket fellows, it's the only excuse He has to believe that Ash is safe and well.

No-

How could that be considered safe OR well?? They were villains, stalking him in Alola for no reason.

"RotomDex!" Kukui nearly yells, struggling to keep the tremors out of his voice.

And RotomDex startles, launching out of its charging station to blearily stare at Kukui. Just as he hovers over the bar, Ash's pokemon all blearily walk over to stare at him from the banister.

The feeling in Kukui's stomach plummets

"Professor!" Rotom mimics a yawn, it's screen flashing for a second to show the time. "It's barely 6:13 am, on a _Saturday_ no less!"

Kukui brushes his hair back, letting out a harsh breath as Burnet steps closer to Rotom.

"Rotom- where's Ash?" Burnet asks lowly, hope shining in her tone.

Rotom scoffs, brushing one of its appendages over its eye as it lazily turns back to the loft.

"Ash should be sleeping, he wont wake up till-" there's a large pause as Rotom gazes on the futon couch. "ASH!"

And now Rotom is panicking, causing Ash's other pokemon to panic as well.

Torracat leaps off the loft, landing roughly on the floor and meowing, calling desperately for Ash. There's a haunting look in her eyes as she races out the door, screaming her head off.

Lycanroc similarly follows, barking and howling As Rowlet clings to his back hissing and cawing for their trainer that's not in their sight.

Poipole might have been the only one that was calm, curiously looking around and patting Kukui's shoulder with a tilt of her head.

"Rotom!" Kukui calls out, pushing past Poipole for a second.

And Rotom swings around, a video playing on it's stomach as it darts around.

"Ash left! Look!" Rotom darts forward a bit too close, ignoring Kukui's subtle flinch as the video plays.

It's only focused on a certain part of the kitchen and living room. It takes a few seconds for Ash to fly into view, clearly stumbling into the kitchen and grabbing water.

There's moments where he blankly stares at the kitchen counter, then right into Rotoms camera before shrugging and heading into the living room.

He turned on the TV, and for roughly 20 minutes, he sits and watches TV.

Then it changes, and Ash gets up to look to the side.

He gets off the couch and walks easily, there's no sign of struggle or of attempting to be quiet. He just walks away without a word. Ash never came back inside and soon Kukui could be seen walking in before panicking.

Kukui tries his hardest to relax, shaking his shoulders and cracking his neck. There weren’t many, if any, malicious psychic type pokemon to drag Ash’s attention like that. The only one that would be willing would have been Lunala but-

well, he hadn’t seen that particular Legendary in anything but legends.

"It seems that Ash went off on his own accord." Rotom's video goes down, and the Dex sags in relief. "Ash may not be the brightest, but this was all him."

"Ahh." Kukui swallows roughly. "He's been gone awhile-"

"It's possible that Ash went to a friend's house." Burnet reasoned. "Maybe he just needed someone to talk to."

"He left the door wide open." Kukui's eyebrows furrow. "He's never done that before."

Burnet walks forward, gentle hands grasping his face, dragging him down to touch foreheads as she stares at him.

She's worried, just as much as he is, but she's definitely better at being optimistic about it all.

"He's probably a little spacey and I don't blame him." Burnet whispers, just loud enough for him to hear. "He'll come back, and when he does we'll help him sort out whatever he's trying to deal with."

Kukui agrees, gently caressing her hands and breathes out.

Ash will come back, he'll be back and Kukui is going to hold him tight until he can't hold him anymore.

Except that's not what happens.

The day drags on and Kukui realizes in a tizzy that none of Ash's pokemon are back.

They're not back and now he's scared, worried and fearful.

It's only 4 in the afternoon but now Kukui is calling everyone under the sun in hopes that his surrogate son is somewhere safe, or if he at least told anyone where he's at.

None of his students know, and their parents are worried about him. Kukui has to promise to update them and rushes to call some numbers on his phone.

There's 2 consistent ones, both located in Kanto and Kukui has to pray that the first one he click's isn't Ms. Ketchum.

It's not- and he's greeted by the side view of the rock type gym leader.

" _Hey Satoshi, give me a quick second to- HAH!_ " The Kantonian words barely register in Kukui’s ears as he watches Brock turn, smiling impishly for a second. " _Alright, nugget boy what's-_ "

Now the gym leader pauses, glancing at Kukui for a second before looking around.

He's quick to switch to Unovian.

"Ah- Alola." Brock waves awkwardly, wincing slightly. "Professor Kukui, how can I help you?"

The words are dry in his throat for a second, and Kukui struggles to let the words fall from his lips.

"Profess-"

"Ash is missing!" He manages to blurt out, hand reaching over to grip at the edge of his desk. "Ash is missing and we have no idea where he is, please, please, tell me that he told you something!"

There's a voice in the back of Kukui's head, something whispering that there was no way Brock knew.

Why would he act as if he were waiting for a call from Ash?

Brock stumbles back, blinking before darting to his hand held phone, scrolling through something. There's a pause, and another before he looks up, shaking his head sadly.

"Nothing." Brock replies apologetically. "I don't have any texts from him. Not a single call either."

Kukui has to try his hardest not to break into hysterical sobs, biting his tongue.

"Thank you." His voice wavers, and he's blindly reaching for the end call button.

"If it means anything to you." Kukui freezes, darting up to look at Brock. "If Ash left without a word, he's upset at something or someone. He doesn't get this way often but he'll want his space… I hope he comes home soon."

And Brock ends the call, the darken screened of his video call phone showcasing Kukui's stressed face.

Upset, upset? At who, at what?

Kukui wouldn't have been able to tell, in the past week that Ash was home he had been stressed to the T, falling asleep the moment dinner was over, running to meetings piled on meetings and even more meetings. The Nihilego thing had gotten out of proportion, the Kahuna’s and other League officials tried butting their heads in but they just needed to _back off!_ Ash wasn’t some random trainer, he was Ash, and they just didn’t _listen_.

Ash had still seemed so happy to him, in and out of school. Even when Kukui had the chance to tiredly look over his board, Ash was the same happy kid who craves just a little more attention with his injuries. He had seemed so happy, so, so happy.

_SO how had Kukui missed the apparent dissatisfaction and depression his not-son was feeling?_

Maybe he needed to ask the students.

Of course.

His students would have been able to tell, being so close to Ash.

\---

Mallow shuffled over aimlessly towards Lillie's house, mind numb as her father talked quietly with her stressed out teacher and his equally stressed wife. She waved hello to Hobbes, gripping the edges of her bag before she swung it onto the floor in Lillie's room.

She was the last one there, a first in Mallow's book but she couldn't bring herself to mind. As quick as she got there she shuffled on over to Lillie, collapsing beside her face down on her bed.

"Ash is missing." Lillie says softly, not quiet on the verge of whispering but definitely guilty. "I'm worried…"

Mallow's stomach tightens, and she's stubbornly refusing to lift her head up.

Ash was missing and for once Mallow couldn't bring herself to care. She was too Tapu damned tired to even bring herself to look at him let alone think about him.

It wasn't the case, she could feel the guilt tightening in her stomach, crawling around her back and tightening her shoulders a bit too much. She was struggling not to cry, to cry for her friend that she had pushed away.

But in a sense Mallow was relieved. Relieved to not look or think about Ash, to not feel guilt every time she ignored him.

He had tried so hard to keep their routine normal, and it was them pushing back like jerks.

But…

"Is… is it bad-" Sophocles sounded nervous, on the verge of tears. "Is it bad that I'm slightly… relieved?"

Mallow didn't say a word, and no one else answered him.

She knew.

They all felt relieved, every single one of them didn't want to lift a finger to help Ash, and it felt awful. Absolutely despicable of them to even think that his lack of presence was to be relieved about.

How could they? How could Ash still want to try!? How could Ash look at them everyday and still have the heart to smile while they all pretended he wasn't there!?

There was a harsh thump, startling Mallow enough to jerk up, using her arms to hold her body up as she watched Kiawe rush to the window.

"No one." Kiawe murmurs, stepping back.

He looked awful, and now that Mallow was really looking, all of them looked absolutely terrible.

Was this the result of Ash affecting their heads?

Or was it the result of them being bad friends?

Mallow is desperate to cling to the first, trying her hardest to pretend that it was all Ash's fault.

_(Except it's not and she knows it, they're bad friends, absolutely horrible and she hopes Ash would never forgive them for this.)_

**Knock, knock.**

She's careful to drag her eyes up, watching Lillie gingerly cross the room to open the door.

Her blonde hair is a mess and Mallow can make out bruises beneath her eyes.

_Another thing she can blame on ~~them~~ Ash._

Mallow blanks out long enough to not see Gladion enter the room, but suddenly he's standing before them all with a raised brow.

"Lillie," His tone is warning, and the sound makes the nerves in Mallow's stomach squirm. "Professor Kukui told us something interesting."

Lillie doesn't raise her head to meet his eyes, keeping them firmly on her balled up fist in her lap.

Gladion is impatient, and Mallow moves to sitting up instead of the twisted pretzel position she was doing before to look at him.

His eyes danced towards her, sharpening before he let out a heavy harsh sigh.

"He said, and I'm saying this loosely." Gladion looks far more upset then Mallow wants, snarling at this point. "'His Kanto friend mentioned that Ash only leaves without a word when he's upset.' You know anything about that?"

They're all quiet, and Mallow watches as Lillie quietly shakes her head, biting her shaking lip in an attempt to keep it still. Gladion doesn't look convinced, in fact he looks downright disappointed.

"Lillie-" His voice is stern, keeping his eyes focused on her. "What. Happened."

There is no room for question, but no one jumps in to help, no one says a word as they all quietly watch this exchange.

 _Ash would try to calm him down in a heartbeat the moment he sounded mad,_ Mallow has to bat away the thought, but it's sticking to her head like a Toxapex on Corsola.

Still Lillie is adamant on shaking her head.

"I don't know." She lies, she lies like the rest of them do.

They don't know what's going on. They really don't.

_But they do, they do and it's all their fault. Pretending to be relieved when they all feel sick to their stomachs._

"Lillie." Gladion doesn't step closer, his glare doesn't get harsher and his tone doesn't change.

But for some reason Mallow wants to curl away and hide, she wants to pretend this isn't happening.

Lillie is crying, she's shaking but Mallow can't bring herself to reach over and hug her.

Ash would tell Gladion to leave her alone.

 _She isn't Ash._ Mallow stubbornly clings to that last thought.

She's not Ash- she's Mallow and Ash is Ash.

The sky was blue and the grass was green.

**And she was not Ash.**

"Lillie."

"What!" Lillie darts up, angry, teary eyes and absolutely done with whatever Gladion plans to say next.

Mallow watches as her quiet friend launches to her feet, stepping close to his brother till their chest to chest.

Lillie is shorter, and she tries to make up for that but standing on her tippy toes.

Gladion isn't fazed.

"What Gladion!?" She doesn't lash out, but Lillie's hands are balled into fists on her side. "Tell me!? What do you want to know!?"

His gaze sharpens, but he doesn't move to push her back, dark green eyes boring into lighter lime eyes. Lillie doesn't back down, but she's faltering.

Mallow doesn't like the uncomfortable feeling settling in her stomach.

"What. Happened." Gladion repeats, his tone less questioning and more sharp.

And Lillie blows, small hands shoving him back.

Gladion doesn't move, doesn't even shift with her push but Mallow stands up, grasping her flailing arms and pinning them to Lillie's side as best she can. She's not successful but Lana and Kiawe help as well as Sophocles carefully splays his hands in front of Lillie in an attempt to calm her down.

"I DON'T KNOW." Lillie screams her voice wavering into a shriek at the end. "I DON'T KNOW GLADION, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!?"

Gladion is still firm but his scowl deepens.

"What do I want you to say!?" He sounds incredulous but Mallow can't figure out why. "Isn't he your friend!? Aren't you supposed to know this!? Aren't you a part of this close friend shit he's always talking about!?"

Lillie's scowl matches the ferocity of Gladion's, but Mallow can see the desperation, the deranged tilt to it that she had never seen on Lillie before.

For a second, Mallow is reminded of Lusamine.

"I don't know!" Her voice falls, no longer screaming but definitely not at room level. "I don't know."

Gladion's expression finally matches his tone, eyebrows shot up well past his hairline as wide eyes contrast against tiny pupils.

"You don't-'' Gladion makes a strangled noise somewhere in his throat, and he takes a step forward. "How do you not fucking know if you're friends or not!? I'm pretty sure that's the easiest fucking thing to-"

"BECAUSE HE SCARES ME, GLADION!"

Mallow breathed in sharply, looking away from the blonde teen to stare at the wall behind her.

The room falls quiet, quiet enough that they can hear the sounds of pokemon playing outside but nothing more.

None of them have ever said it out loud. Not when Ash was ~~dying~~ , not when he was unconscious in the hospital, not when he was at school, not when they were home alone.

Not even in her own thoughts, had Mallow admitted to being afraid.

But that's all it was really.

She had fooled herself into thinking she was just uncomfortable about what happened.

But she was scared.

Scared of bright blue energy balls, scared of z marked cheeks uplifting into a deranged smile, scared of his voice that grated on her ears reminding her that she was just naive, _naive,_ _ **naive!**_

"Scared?" Gladion's voice was dangerously low. "Of Ash!?"

"I'm scared of him, I'm scared of what he can do." Mallow can feel the tears hit her arms, she can feel Lillie pinching at her skin in a desperate attempt to keep her close.

Mallow doesn't mind.

"He almost died." Gladion says, and Mallow can hear the anger in his voice. "Ms. Willow was talking about it. He almost died to save that thing because he knew it was in pain- he was possessed, used like a fucking toy, like mother, and you're afraid!?"

"It was _nothing_ like mother!" Lillie spat, trying to lunge forward but being held in place.

"Your right." Mallow turns, shock coloring her face, but Gladion doesn't look like he's giving in. "His situation was nothing like mother's."

And he takes a step forward, enough to startle them all into stepping back and falling on Lillie's bed.

"Mother's was worse." Gladion snarls. "You were her child, WE were her children and she tried to _murder_ us."

Mallow can't breathe, she cant breathe as she stares at angry green eyes swirling with disappointment and hatred.

"Ash was your friend." Gladion leans forward, leering at them with a snarl. "He was your friend, possessed and tainted by a stupid Ultra Beast. I've seen the video Rotom recorded, he never once touched you all, he even tried to save the pokemon."

Gladion steps back.

One.

Two.

He turns abruptly, marching his way to the door and placing a hand on the frame, turning just a quarter to glare at them.

"And unlike mother, Ash never put his pokemon under control. He had every right to in order to really defeat Tapu Koko."

The silence after is deafening, and Mallow wants to claw at her neck, she wants to breathe but she knows she is.

She's suffocating and panicking.

"Ash was fighting the moment he refused to lay a hand on his pokemon, save for accidental hits." Gladion steps out the door, and pauses for a few more seconds. "He clearly had the upper hand in every situation and never took it. Ash was fighting the possession far more than Mother was."

And he leaves.

Lillie breaks into tears, sobbing and screaming but Mallow can't be bothered to comfort her.

Her head is numb and she still _can't_ _**breathe.**_

\----

Nothing comes of the day before.

They get asked by the adults and their teacher if anything- if they knew anything about Ash or where he was.

Gladion gave them looks, full of disappointed and disgusted looks that didn't settle well in Sophocles's stomach.

He didn't personally think they did anything wrong- it was just a cause and effect ordeal that would eventually fade with time.

How long it took was up for grabs, however.

They broke off, hoping to coordinate with the police and pleading with them to stay.

"It's possible he was just… taken?" Lusamine said and the thought unsettled him.

It didn't sit right with the Professors either.

Burnet had almost went catatonic, eyes wide and hollow as she stared at the President while Kukui broke out into pure hysterics.

It was something Sophocles had ever seen before, and he watched as all the parents collectively backtracked.

"He's a teenager." Mallow's dad eventually soothed. "Much like my son. He might have just gone to rest- your boy is strong, I doubt anyone could take him without his pokemon raising the realm of Lunala."

He had never heard that term before, but the adults flinched slightly so Sophocles figured that there was something more to it that he had yet to understand.

He could look it up later.

The adults shuffled off, Gladion never letting up on giving them lasting glares.

He couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning they're sitting at Mallow's restaurants. No one wanted any of the kids to venture far off- Kiawe had mentioned that he wasn't allowed to do his morning tasks and that his mother had done them instead.

Sophocles tried to ignore the feeling of bile rising in his throat.

He wasn't illogical, he knew perfectly well that this wasn't their fault. But Ash's.

Maybe they pushed, but Ash buckled.

_He ignored the thoughts in his head that it wasn't all Ash's fault. That Ash stood up again and again and even under possession he fought while they stood wide eyed and terrified._

So they sat outside and waited, Togedemaru clutched tightly on his lap.

Not that it mattered anyway, his little mouse was too busy looking for Pikachu to really play with the other pokemon.

It took time, but by midday the adults had come by stressed all over again. Edges of a breakdown were beginning to sear into Burnet.

Edges of a breakdown were ready to clutch his classmates too.

Lillie hadn't been the same since Gladion confronted them. Teetering on the edge of mumbling to herself and sobbing openly into her hands if no adults were around. Nothing seemed to cheer her up, not Mallows hugs or Lana's sometimes too serious jokes.

Sophocles wasn't sure of what he could do.

He was a scientist not a therapist, emotions weren't his biggest thing.

Ash could probably help.

Not that Sophocles would ask, even if he were around.

He sighed, glancing at the table, ears burning in shame as the adults reassured them once more that Ash would be found.

He still didn't want Ash back- not yet anyway.

\-----

Lana watched blankly as the pink haired Kanto lady came by asking for Ash.

Something wasn’t right about her, and her Meowth seemed frazzled and absolutely angry. Hissing at them, low enough to where no one heard, but face still twisted in a snarl.

Lana should be paying attention, should be focusing on the words everyone around her was saying but it felt like she was underwater without Popplio’s balloon around her head. She just had to hold her breath and wait. Wait for the tides to fall over, and wait for the wave to crash and push her to safety.

Or wait for the wave to crash and drag her under.

Lana didn’t know what was worse.

Her friend’s were worried, all of them were. As much as Ash scared her, she still wanted her… classmate to be okay.

He had never really left like this before. And the only time Lana could think of, was back in Kanto, when he had raced off to his bounty of pokemon leaving them all in the dust.

_But that was only for two hours, not the two days they were currently hitching on._

She sighed, watching the lady turn with a flourish, running off as the Meowth tilted it’s head back.

And laughed.

Lana was sure Kyogre was laughing at her from beneath the waves.

She had gone out to sea prepared to weather a storm, but Lana was caught in a whirlpool with Gyarados’s surrounding her tiny ship.

She was lost.

And Lana had no idea what to do about it anymore.

\---

Kiawe glared at the retreating form of the pink haired lady- something about her seemed off and it was too coincidental.

Maybe that or maybe it was because she had a Kanto Meowth, and he hadn't had a good experience with those pokemon so far.

Still, he felt the guilt swarm in his stomach, rising to the back of his neck as shame washed over him.

She had shown them a picture of Ash, one he had of them all in, on the pretense that he wanted to send to his other friends. At the time, Kiawe hadn't minded.

But now, it very much upset him.

They were friends weren't they? That's what Ash had always called them. But now they were all stupidly sitting about with their heads raised high and nose upturned to pretend he never existed.

But with shaky hands, he couldn't bring himself to imagine Ash back in their group. Couldn't look at him without thinking of bright blue eyes and sharp words that didn't match Ash.

All their pokemon didn't seem to mind him, but Kiawe couldn't, he couldn't even bear to look at the photo when his eyes only lingered on the boy in the red cap.

"Kiawe." His mother warned, nearly marching to his side when his father stopped her.

There were murmurs that ‘ _the kids were just stressed and worried'_ and ' _he'll be fine when they found Ash'._

But Kiawe wouldn't- he couldn't imagine a life with Ash back in the spotlight.

_And yet Kiawe couldn't imagine a life without him either, the first trainer he had met that was formidable enough and one that was friendly enough to be a rival._

Tiredly, Kiawe pushed back, away from his friends and retired back home.

He needed to think more about it.

_How could you want someone to be in your life and yet reject them at the same time?_

\---

Ash was back Monday Afternoon.

Lillie's eyes burned at the sight of Ash casually claiming his existence beneath the banister. Kukui and Burnet practically throwing themselves at the boy.

He looked okay, better than okay. His skin unblemished by bruises that were so dark and heavy the Friday before. Eyes bright and smile wide.

Pikachu was on his shoulder, the mouse that wouldn't touch him the minute he woke up, was now casually riding his shoulder with chirps and squeaks of happiness.

All his pokemon were there, none of them seemed worried, just excited to be back.

The sight made Lillie numb.

She could look at him, she could see his face and eyes, she could see his happiness and laughter.

Lillie could _see him._

It was different, it was like the Ash she remembered and she didn't know what changed-

Was it Lillie? Was it because she stopped thinking of him as the monster that tried to kill Tapu Koko?

No-

Because she could still see it, still see Ash and Nihilego fighting to harm their Tapu.

But she wasn't afraid anymore.

Glancing at her friends told her similar tales.

None of them seemed afraid, at least, not like before.

They could look at him and not see the images of dark eyes and a crooked grin.

It didn't matter.

Ash didn't look at them once, just going home without a glance back or acknowledgment.

Lillie would say it hurt, and it truly did.

But it was something she should have expected.

"I think he realizes you all treated him unfairly." Gladion shrugs the moment they're home, he's not glaring. "Don't be shocked if his next move is to leave Alola."

The thoughts unsettling and Lillie struggles to sleep that night, eyes wide and staring at her ceiling fan as Vulpix sleeps by her side.

The next morning a substitute takes Kukui's place. Ash doesn't show up.

It causes her skin to prickle and her mouth to run dry, she's staring at the table and trying not to vomit.

The substitute lets them do whatever they want so they push their tables together in an attempt to figure out what's wrong.

No one talks.

Everyone is too ashamed to speak to each other, to their pokemon or to the sub.

They all silently do their own things.

On Wednesday, Kukui is back but Ash is still gone.

Their teacher looks so much better, so much more relaxed and like the teacher they knew.

He doesn't seem angry or disappointed in them, and goes on like nothing happened.

It's been roughly 5 days since Ash has interacted with them.

_It's been almost 3 weeks since they've all collectively started ignoring Ash._

Finally, on Thursday Ash comes back.

He says Alola, still smiling and just as energetic as before. Lillie raises her hand slightly, she still can't say a word back. Ash doesn't seem bothered by it, just cuddling into his pokemon.

Pikachu ignores them all.

No one talks, not casually anyway, only speaking up to answer questions. The professor gives them tired and confused looks.

During lunch he holes himself away, doesn't bother with even looking at them as he speaks in another language. She gets bits of Kantonian that he had taught her, but only bits.

She clenches her fist and opts to wonder what it would be like if he taught her the language once more.

On Friday, she doesn't go to school. Her alarm clock rings 20 minutes too late, and Hobbes never rang in to hurry her out of bed.

Instead, Lillie wakes up to her older brother sitting beside her, Umbreon curled on the floor and Silvally's mane on his lap.

"You fucked up." Gladion spares her a barest hint of a glance before focusing back on his overgrown Rockruff.

Lillie can't bring herself to answer, just lays back down as Snowy barks for attention.

He leaves and Lillie quietly doesn't say a word the rest of the day.

No one she expects comes by once school is over, they send her get wells and feel better messages to her phone that she’s stubbornly ignoring.

There is no text from Ash.

Ash comes by, he doesn't stop by to talk long, he probably doesn't even notice her sitting by the window staring out at him.

Something is handed to Hobbes, he bows and leaves, waving a hand in goodbye.

She waves back, knowing he couldn't see her.

But progress… Right?

The box turns out to be a round bento box that Ash, Burnet, and Kukui put together. It's filled with a mix of rice, meats and vegetables. She's careful to try them all, enjoying the small Vulpix like design, she’s sure Burnet made.

"K-Kame-meshu." She carefully traces over the kanji on the side. "Kamameshi?"

She doesn't know what it means, but she's grateful regardless.

Quietly, Lillie eats the meal, tears slowly falling down her face as she screws her eyes shut.

It's Monday, when she finally makes a decision.

Lillie is at her desk, leaning back and staring at the ceiling as everyone around her murmurs softly. They're not saying much to each other, mostly to their own pokemon and Lillie is in awe at the effect Ash had on them.

_No-_

The effect they had on each other.

Now that Lillie is breathing again, now that she's thinking with her head instead of her fear, it was easy to see who was really at fault.

And the answer was nobody.

It wasn't Ash's fault for getting possessed.

It wasn't Nihilego's fault for not wanting to die.

It wasn't Pikachu's fault for fighting their best friend.

And it wasn't their fault for being afraid.

But, she thought bitterly, it was their fault for pushing away they're friend.

It was her fault for being so wrapped up in her fear, she opted to ignore her friend that had helped her in more ways than one.

It was her fault for once again letting her fear rear it’s ugly head and control her life. For once, Lillie wanted to hold the wheel and drive.

"Alola!" Lillie started slightly, snapping her head up just as Ash walked in, waving his hands as enthusiastically as he had done every day prior.

He was still Ash.

Lillie let in a gentle slow breath, ignoring how shaky she sounded when she exhaled. She grabbed the wheel.

_Now._

_**Now is the time.** _

"Alola, Ash." She waves a hand, trying to ignore the waver in her voice and the shakiness of her own body.

She can feel her friends staring at her in surprise, but she wasn't focused on them.

Ash smiled at her, starting to walk back to his desk and barely passing by her.

Then he paused, straightened his back, and turned to look at her with wide eyes.

Lillie fought back the need to turn away, instead smiling at him as best she could.

The look in Ash's eyes- suspicion, hesitation, fear- disappeared quickly, a blindingly bright and _happy_ smile tore through his cheeks.

The sight made the guilt gnaw at her back.

Had she really never noticed what they had done to him?

Ash still didn't talk to her outright, instead keeping up with his open ended questions or concerns for anybody to answer.

And if Lillie knew it, she would say something.

He followed her around, not too close but enough that it took Lillie a few hours to realize Ash was clinging to the little bit of interaction he was given.

She had to fix this… she had to.

"How can you?" Lana waved her hand, motioning vaguely towards Ash for a second.

Lillie paused in her meal, placing her sandwich down as she glanced at Ash.

She took a second to think, gradually dragging her attention back to her friends.

Finally, she opened her mouth.

"It wasn't his fault."

Throughout the week the other tried to include Ash- some trying their hardest like Lana, and others taking their sweet time, like Sophocles.

It took them awhile, but Lillie was pushing her limits to ignore the twinge of scrambling down her back.

It was no wonder how she found herself sitting next to Ash after school. dangling themselves on the balcony as they watched a plethora of other students leave for the day.

Including their own friends.

Ash hummed by her side, sounds of music reaching her ears that she had never heard before, maybe they were from Kanto.

Not that she could ask.

Pikachu rounded Ash's lap, giving her a strange look before he chittered at his trainer, hopping off and calling out.

Snowy perked up from her side, not even giving her a passing glance as he pounced right after, tiny paws thumping the ground in a desperate attempt to catch up to the electric mouse.

She didn't move, didn't say a sound as she watched their Pokemon play.

What could she do? What could she say? Anything that spilled from her lips would be considered absolute Rapidash Excrement and in the end she could fuck it up entirely more. It wasn't fun, and now her thoughts were giving her the worst possible scenario-

"Hey Lillie," Ash hummed, swinging his legs slightly.

She startled in her place, hands grasping at nothing as she tried to regain her bearings.

"Yeah Ash?" The name felt numb on her lips, like it was a word she had no right in saying.

"How's therapy going?" Lillie froze.

She froze and refused to stare at him a second more.

She was aware that he knew about their group therapy, Lillie knew that Ash knew that Kukui had recommended them all to a therapist after seeing Ash be overtaken.

So Lillie sniffed quietly, calming her racing heartbeat and smiled at Ash.

"Oh- it's going well. The therapist recommended Mallow find a different way to distress and she had scolded Kiawe for-"

Ash snorted, looking at her with a raised brow that had her freezing a second time.

Had he not cared? Then why had he asked? Was this a way to get back at them for ignoring him? Oh Tapu-

"Lillie, I meant your therapy." Ash swung his legs lazily. "Like the solo one?"

Her voice caught in her throat, too startled to freeze as Lillie began to cough into her hand.

Her therapy?? Her individual one that she hadn't told a soul save for her brother and Hobbes?

For Tapu's sake, her Mother had no idea about that therapy and Ash just brought it out like-

"Are they making you do the Imu- imer- Imusion?" Ash turned to her, smiling brightly like he hadn't just flipped the script on Lillie. "You know- the one that makes you confront it head on!"

Her mouth ran dry and she wordless flapped her jaw for a few seconds before-

"How did you know about that!?" Lillie shrilled out, voice raising about two octaves higher than she normally talked.

Which was a feat in itself, granted.

But Ash turned, raising a brow at her like she was being super slow.

"Neh, it's a little obvious." He chuckled. "You're the smart one, so you would definitely look into it more than anyone else!"

He swung his feet a little more, turning to look at her curiously.

"My mother… eh, I mean, Therapy is going okay." Lillie blurted out, hands gripping at the concrete beneath her. "Immersion Therapy is something my therapist talked about but… I don't know how to go about it."

Which was wrong really, she was pushing herself everyday to be beside Ash and it was working, working better than she could ever imagine. Her therapist said to be careful but… she couldn't stop now.

"But you're doing it right now." Ash hummed casually, like he knew more than he let on. "By being beside me."

"I'm not scared of you." Lillie forced out, voice getting caught in her throat.

She huffed, turning her nose away despite the horror tingling in her gut.

"I didn't say you were." Ash shrugged, giving her a smile when she turned to face him. "I just said you were doing the imusion thing by being near me is all!"

"Ash," Lillie started slowly, trying to find the words in her head. "That would mean you scared me."

"But you are." Ash pointed out, pointing a finger at her as if to prove a point. "Maybe not of me but you are scared of something about me."

She felt a hot rush of shame rush to her cheeks, blinking away the horror to grit her teeth at him.

"Ash, I am NOT afraid," Lillie slammed her hand onto the concrete beneath then, grimacing slightly at the pain traveling up her palm. "Not of you, and not because of something about you. I'm _NOT_ afraid, _okay!?_ "

Ash started her, amused and smiling. He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing anything she said.

"You're a bad liar." He grinned.

She huffed, turning away sharply.

There were a few beats of silence, and Lillie could only hear the wind and the faint sounds of pokemon playing.

She wonders, silently, if she can keep up this charade, if she can really push past her fears.

Because if she couldn't, what was the point of therapy? Why should she attend if she never did anything to make it better?

So with a bitter conviction, Lillie turned to Ash and breathed in sharply.

"I'm scared of that Blue power I saw you and Nihilego use." Lillie breathed out softly, screwing her eyes shut. "It's… it scares me that you did that. It scares me that the Nihilego that possessed you is now in your team and could do it again. Use that power again."

She can't see him anymore, but she can hear him rustling against the concrete before gentle fingers tap her arm. Her body twitches but Lillie refuses to flinch away, refuses to move an inch more than she already has.

"The blue power?" Ash asks.

"The blue power." She nods her head, opening her eyes for a second. "The blue power, seeing you fade out of existence- which I probably wouldn't have even thought true if the others didn't see it too- and- and Pikachu just seemed so ready to fight you and he wouldn't go near you and-"

"Whoa easy there Lils." Ash raised a hand, calming her quickly from her babble. "There are explanations for all of those things."

"Those things??" She shoots an incredulous look at him. "Ash there is nothing to explain- these are all just stupid thoughts in my head that have no right to even-"

"And cutting you off right there." He bites back a grin, slapping his hands together in a time out motion. "Why don't we go about it one at a time okay? Ask me anything."

Lillie grunts, puffing out a breath of air to bat away hair that's falling in her face. Ash seemed ready to answer any and all questions Lillie had- which wasn't fair- so she opted to give him a question to answer.

If he could.

So Lillie went with the one that was easier to handle.

"Why did Pikachu fight you so easily?" Her voice dropped. "Why did he ignore you so much when you were okay?"

And Ash hums, leaning back.

"Pikachu and I have this thing." He explains lamely. "Possession is a thing that happens a lot with ghost pokemon and stuff- so if I get possessed he shocks me. It's how it goes. He knew the moment it happened ya know?"

Except no- that was not a good answer. She opened her mouth to stop him but Ash barreled over her, tilting his head as he finished off the answer.

"And he did talk to me." Ash shrugged. "He was scared of touching me because he was certain he had hurt me a lot. He didn't want to hurt me but he did and he couldn't forgive himself. Pikachu didn't ignore me because he thought I was a scary monster. He didn't touch me because he didn't want to hurt me anymore than he did, even though I don't blame him at all. Pikachu is just like that."

Lillie's mouth snapped closed, and now that she thought about it, it made a lot more sense.

Pikachu was his partner for so long, so why would he ever be afraid of Ash?

"What about the fading away? And the Blue power?" She whispered hoarsely, looking at him with confusion and desperation.

"The Blue power…" He shifted bringing up a hand and waving it away as he stared at her. "Why are you scared of that by the way? Like why is it scary and all?"

"It took down a Tapu, Ash." She laughed emptily. "It took down our Guardian, it was so powerful and scary and-"

Lillie hiccuped, struggling to stop the sob building up in her throat.

It was terrifying, the blue orb radiated power and it showed.

It took down Tapu Koko easily, something she had never seen before and it was-

_It was horrifying._

"I didn't know Nihilego could do that. What makes yours so special? Why did it look so different fused with you than my mom?" Gingerly, Lillie brings her legs up, wrapping her arms around them, trying desperately to ground herself. "I just… I don't understand…"

There's another brief pause of silence, and Lillie looks at Ash who looks like he's thinking hard.

"I don't think Nihilego can do that." Ash shrugged, holding his hands up as he cupped the air. "I think it was more that I could do this."

Lillie never even got the chance to brace herself as Ash hands spark blue, a rush of blue resting at the bottom of his palms that slowly crawl into the open air and form a ball.

The ball of blue power.

It's glowing brightly, a softer and more comforting color than the dark deep blue from before.

It doesn't matter.

Lillie feels her throat clog up in fear, straightening up as her body flinched altogether. She didn't move, staring wide eyed at the ball and Ash.

But he didnt move, smiling softly for a second.

He wiggled his fingers, and the ball- smaller than a pokeball- began to curl around his fingers almost lovingly.

It pressed against his palm, flattening out for a second before curling upwards a stem beginning to appear before it took the shape of a flower bud.

Lillie stood stock still, trying to convince herself to breathe.

"Wha-" Her voice caught in her throat once more, but Ash seemed fine answering voiceless questions.

"It's a time flower." Ash grinned. "I tried making one for forever, and this is my first time making it without pushing myself really hard!"

He's proud, and Ash hops off their little concrete resting place to place the flower down onto a barren patch of dirt.

More blue power curls at his fingertips, before he taps the bud lightly. The flower bud glows the same soft blue, before a burst of stems curl into the dirt beneath it, digging itself into the dirt.

And now that it was resting off Ash's palm Lillie knew she had seen those flowers before. But she had only ever seen them in books, being native to a small area in Kanto.

"Time…" She breathes out slowly, finally regaining her breathing.

He turns to her smiling as he straightens his back, proudly leaning against their little concrete wall.

"Yeah! Time Flowers are made with Aura." He wiggles his hands the blue power coming forth for a mere second. "The blue power that you talk about."

Aura.

It had a name.

Now she had a name for the thing that kept her up at night.

"Aura." The word felt numb on her lips, and like a cruel cosmic joke, Ash nodded.

"Yup!" Ash casually curled his fingers, the same tiny ball of blue hovering around his fingers as if he were flicking a pen. "Aura is… well it's a lot of things, but they had told me that it's the essence of every living creature-" He paused, "Whatever that means. It can do a lot of things and it's in everyone!"

"E-Everyone?" And now that choking feeling was back, images of black eyes and bright blue pupils, dark spheres of Aura hurtling at Tapu Koko and-

"Oh yeah. It's what keeps everyone alive." Ash hopped onto the concrete barrier, trying to sit as the ball curled around his frame leaving loving wisps of blue across his arm.

For a second, Lillie could pretend it was harmless.

_Only for a second though…_

"But that's not all it does… Right?" Lillie kept her eyes trained on the swirl of blue. "It took down Tapu Koko after all…"

And Ash grimaced, the ball of blue wavering and becoming a somber tone of greenish blue, as if it had been-

"Not entirely." Ash shrugged. "Pokemon, like Lucario, can use Aura Sphere… it's not always meant for just life but-"

She stared at him, eyes darting to the way his face scrunched and relaxed in odd intervals.

Then he waved his hand dismissively.

"Okay so," Ash clapped his hands together, snapping Lillie out of her staring. "Aura can do a bunch of things, just like pokemon can! I don't know everything that it can do… I'm not very good at it. But," He looked at her, pointing at the time flower embedded in the ground. "Aura can make flowers- more than just time flowers, look!"

The ball of blue wisped towards his hand, centering it just in the center of his palm. Like the trainer he was, Ash held his hand like he would a pokeball, flinging the ball of blue into the ground.

Lillie winced, stopping herself from breathing too sharply.

_That looked like he was throwing it at someone. Was Tapu Koko there? Was it a poor pokemon? Was it-_

"Lillie, look." startled, she snapped her eyes open.

Turning slowly, and breathing through her nose, Lillie saw something she couldn't even explain.

The grass was growing.

**No-**

The area around the time flower began to glow a soft greenish blue. Fresh green grass began to grow, covering all the dirt within that area. Flowers, not time flowers, but real flowers began to fluster and fan open, tiny sprouts becoming buds, and buds opening to a wide area of flowers. As if she couldn't began to fathom for something new, another two saplings began to grow.

One started small, before turning into a medium sized bush with tiny flecks of buds sprouting around. With a start, Lillie recognized them as Sitrus Berries. The other sapling grew taller and taller, a small bush of leaves sprouted around but instead of green they were a soft pink. A cherry blossom tree roughly her height.

Mouth open agape, Lillie slowly eased her way off the concrete, gently inching her way closer and closer to the tree. Darting her hand forward, she gingerly brushed her fingertips against the bark, startled to feel the tiny rough edges of real wood and the smell of the cherry blossoms reaching her nose.

"That's what Aura can do." Lillie pulled away, turning to look at Ash curiously.

With gut-wrenching sorrow, she noticed the look on his face. Eyebrows scrunched in concern as he glanced away, a small tired smile on his face.

Had she really…

With a start she realized everything.

She was afraid of Ash… for something he couldn't change about himself.

Maybe she could forget about aura, maybe she could pretend it wasn't real.

But Ash couldn't.

It was a part of him.

"Does it… do anything else?" Lillie asked cautiously.

It could still hurt her.

_But it was Ash…_

"It can heal." He nodded, flicking his hand up as he waved it back and forth. "And I can push other people's Auras as well."

"Push?" She inched closer, placing her hands on the concrete barrier and leaning casually against it.

Ash didn't look at her, his hat casting a dark shadow over his eyes that made it near impossible to see.

"Yeah," Ash nodded. "I can push people's auras to make them feel something, but I can't change how they feel."

Lillie glanced away, wide eyed and unsure.

Push people to feel? Like… extend their current emotions or?

"How?" She breathed in slowly.

"I push more aura into you, or I take it away" He admitted. "The more aura, you hit a peak. The less you hit your… Ahhh...Limit?"

She turned back to him, confusion coloring her features.

"What does that even mean?" He floundered for a moment, opening and closing his hands as he struggled to find an answer.

"Its-" Ash waved his hand, a string of blue following after him like a ribbon. "Like… like when you eat and you get super super full, you feel okay like you can't eat anymore but also when you're so hungry that you think you can eat just about anything? That's what that's like.. But different!" he glanced at her, brown eyes shining ever so slightly. "I can feed you, I can give you as much food as I can to make you full, or I could take all your food you ever get and keep taking till your starving. But how you feel after that? I can't change."

Lillie slumped back, numb and unsure how to process it.

What did that mean, what did that feel like? Had he ever done it before, had it affected them before? Did he push them all every day so they got used to it?

_Well…_

“Did you ever use that on us?” Only one way to find out. “On your friends? The Professor? Your Pokemon?”

Ash fell quiet, the sound of silence ringing in Lillie’s ears and making her feel sick to her stomach.

No.

No, _No,_ _ **NO!**_

“Yes.” Her world froze, the sound of pokemon playing falling on deaf ears.

Ash had… he had used that against them? Why? Weren't they friends!?

“Not everyday.” Ash admitted. “Before this whole thing happened, I had never used it before.”

Because… Because of them?

_Because of what they had done…_

Was… was it after Lillie had extended a hand or before that?

“The first time I used it was on Professor Kukui and Burnet.” Ash gave her a blank look, like he truly didn't even understand why. “They were holding me down, trying to keep me safe but they didn't understand that I needed to help Nihilego… So I pushed. I pushed as much aura as I could into them for them to let me go, then took it back once they did. So yeah, I had used it.”

“What about on us?” Lillie bit out, turning to look at him.

His face still held that blank expression, like he was haunted by the actions he had to take.

“No.” He shook his head. “I should have never used it to begin with, it’s not something normal people feel.”

The air that caught in her throat finally managed to ease out, her hammering heart calming just a smidgen.

Ash would never… and she was glad she was right.

_Still…_

“You sure do know how to freak someone out with misleading sentences.” She chuckled, laughing a bit harder at his confused look.

Maybe she was hysterical, maybe it was all but a blanket of hysteria finally settling in her head.

_Whatever._

She straightened up, trying to ease her giggles for a second.

“What does the pushing feel like? Taking and giving Aura?” She leaned back, staring at the sky.

_What a nice shade of blue._

“It depends.” Ash shrugged, “I didn’t have good experiences with it, mine was all about forcing Aura out so it’s been painful.” Another pause. “But lately, with Nihilego needing to take some every day, it doesn’t feel like anything big. Like a water drop falling off you.”

“Can you show me?”

Ash turned to her, surprised and amazed for a moment.

“No.” He shook his head, crossing his arms melodramatically.

“Ash-,” She warned, holding a hand up to point at him.

“Lillie imusion is a great thing,” Ash placated, but still shook his head no. “But this is too far, I've been pushing you as is by showing you Aura like I did, but pushing yours? No- no way.”

“Ash Ketchum.” Lillie, let her hand down, breathing in slowly when he stopped long enough to listen to her. “For the past… few weeks, we’ve been ignoring you… I’ve been ignoring you, and betrayed any trust you had in me. I didn’t know about Aura before, but I associated it with you long before i even knew it was a part of you.” She paused, turning to stare at his wide Deerling eyed look. “But it is a part of you, a part of you you just can’t pretend isn’t there anymore. I can’t pretend it’s not there because that just isn’t fair. Not to you. You’re my friend, and I know I've been acting like… like an absolute jerk lately, I don't want this to end our friendship. I don’t want to ignore you just because of something you can't change. Aura is terrifying to me for all the wrong reasons, I saw what it did when you couldn’t control it, and now I see what you can do. I trust you won’t hurt me, I trust that you won’t ever harm me with Aura.”

Lillie let in a shaky breath, turning to smile weakly at the Kantonian trainer that helped her so much.

_And she nearly ruined that friendship._

“You’re a good person, always have been, and I let my fear of something else change that.” She breathed out. “You didn’t have to show me any of this, it wasn’t fair to you that I was scared. It wasn't fair to you that I ignored you. And I can’t change all the things I did. But… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust in me. I'm sorry for making you feel like you were the monster you could never have been, I’m sorry.”

_Breathe, breathe, breathe._

He glanced at her, still wide eyed and shocked. There were no words between them, and Lillie could vaguely see Pikachu staring at her from a distance away.

She had, in her brother’s words, really fucked up.

Ash stayed quiet, dragging his attention to the floor as he mulled over her words. Her apology.

_Was it too late for one?_

But a smile broke out across his face, the softest smile she had ever seen on him.

And one that looked like he didn’t entirely believe it.

“You didn’t betray my trust Lillie.” He raised a hand, stopping her from ever saying a word as he sent her a look.

So tired. _Too tired._

_W_ _hen had Ash looked like the world was set upon his shoulders, pressing down more and more each day?_

“People get scared, it makes sense.” he shrugged loosely. “I’ve had other friends do the same thing. It was… I expected it to happen.”

She felt the feeling of unease travel up her stomach.

He let out a laugh, soft and nearly hard to hear.

“But thank you.”

He got up, patting her on the arm.

And Lillie watched as Ash walked away, waving a hand goodbye.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow Lillie.” Pikachu crawled up his back, situating himself on Ash’s shoulder as they waved goodbye.

Snowy slowly pounced to be at her side, watching the Kanto Duo walk away with nothing more than a small bark.

Lillie stared blankly as her friend walked away.

Maybe things would get better now, but she would never let it get this way again.

Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND SLIGHTLY AMBIGUOUS ENDING!
> 
> I did actually have an ending when Ash forgave them all but I kinda like this open ended one. 
> 
> They lost something and now they gotta gain it back 
> 
> Thank you all for reading :D and thank you to everyone who helped me out and yelled at me to get this chappie going! It was really fun and really really great to push this around. 
> 
> If you want to read more Pokemon from me, check out Kantonian Assistant (Ash is Kukui's TA) and Switch to Me (An AU where Ash is a Pokemon and Pikachu is the trainer) :3c 
> 
> Come yell at my on tumblr @Maiden-Arts where I occasionally post art of Pokemon and other fandoms I'm in!
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me, please feel free to leave a review!
> 
> and with that
> 
> -Maiden Out.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay and that's done :D there should be another chapter or two coming out, but this itself took like four months to write cause i kept forgetting, oop!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment :D
> 
> -Maiden out!


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